One month down....a lifetime to go

I was trying to get to sleep tonight but couldn't. Today marks one month since Kristen went to Heaven and it's almost as real as the day it happened. The phone calls have slowed down, the continual flow of e-mails and snail mail has significantly decreased, but the tears and the heartache haven't.
I didn't post anything to mark one month since her birthday, I guess because it doesn't hurt as much as today does. (although I did post on the 4 week mark, which for the first month counts as a month even though it wasn't the 29th)
I wanted to post a few photos that were taken after she had been taken off her oxygen tubes and all her monitors because I don't think anyone has gotten to see her like this. Once we knew her lungs were no longer working, the nurses removed all the "stuff" so we could hold her more comfortably. Her heart was still beating and she would take a few breaths a minute, but we knew it was time.

I don't know if the story of her last day has ever been told, but I want to tell it now, since that's what's keeping me awake! (and maybe if I cry hard enough, I'll sleep better!)

....almost 2 hours later....
I did write the story, but it's way too long. So I tried to figure out how to just post part of it and got really confused. So I'll post the long version later, but for now, here's the short version, although it doesn't really do my sleepless night justice. I've been sobbing and weeping trying to get it written, and now that I have I don't want to post it due to it's length. I guess it will just have to wait until I get the blog thing figured out. Hopefully writing it out will help me sleep though!

(from Kristen's site "My Story")
At 3:30 a.m. on Monday September 1st, we believe Kristen woke her Mommy up who was down the hall but couldn’t sleep at the same time so at 5:30 a.m. she came down to rock her for a bit. She had the opportunity to rock her for almost 2 hours before Kristen stopped breathing due to a blockage in her airways. The blockage was removed but it was clear that this was just the beginning of the end. Kristen’s Daddy was called in so they could spend the final moments of her life as a family. The nurses removed the monitors and breathing equipment so that she could be the most comfortable in her parents’ arms. We were allowed to take Kristen back to our room to cherish the final moments of her life. Our close friends and family joined us as we admired our little angel and said our good-byes. Her heart continued to beat for almost an hour as she peacefully slept in our arms. When she was last checked at 8:45am, there was no noticeable heartbeat and we knew she was in Heaven.