Hard to believe a year has already flown by! Some moments it feels like just yesterday that we were taking a photo of the three of us just before we headed off to be induced. Yet, other moments seem like it was a lifetime away....well, I guess it really was. The external scars have healed for the most part and the internal ones still need plenty of tending to. We each do that differently, and everyday it looks a little different. But we know that God is faithful to complete the good work He has begun, it's just not on our timeline! :)
I wanted to thank everyone that has been contacting us one way or another this weekend. Whether through visits, calls, e-mails, facebook, cards or prayer, it is all appreciated. And thank you as well to those that have remembered throughout the year and have encouraged us to talk about Kristen and remind us that she's not forgotten (or nor are we and what we still feel everyday.)
We decided not to do anything "extravagant" to remember her on her first earthly birthday and her first heavenly birthday. We're planning on going to the ocean, just the three of us (and Libby!) and all of us are looking forward to that. I made the mistake of telling Katelynn we were going to the ocean for Kristen's birthday. She replied, "oh that will be so fun, and I'll hold her 'cuz she's so tiny!" I explained to her that Kristen was in Heaven now, "in the sky with God?" she asked, and I told her yes.
She has been extremely observant lately and it has been really interesting how she incorporates Kristen into her life. There is a hospital being remodeled in Puyallup and she always asks what the cranes are doing and we tell her they're building a hospital and for the most part that ends the topic. Sometimes she'll add something about how that's where babies are. Well, the other day we were driving within sight of the hospital and this was our conversation (more or less):
Out of no where she says, "hey Mommy, look there's a hospital....how come daddy cried at the hospital?"
"Well, he was sad about baby Kristen."
"Why?"
"Because she was really sick. We're sad when you get sick too."
"And she has owies?"
"Not anymore. Remember, she's in heaven with God now and doesn't have anymore owies, she's all better now."
"Oh." "Heaven up in the sky, with God?"
"Yep. Up high like the mountains." (sometimes she thinks if she jumps "high" that she'll be as high as heaven too. :) So I wanted to be sure I clarified that one!)
"And she's so cute." (that's when she makes the action of holding something the size of a quarter cupped in her hands.) "Oh Mommy! Look! There's a plane!" (If you've ever seen the movie "Up" these are total "SQUIRREL!" moments that happen with lots of things!) :)
I am so thankful for Katelynn and how it is never odd for her to talk about Kristen. We were told in the beginning when we were fearful of what to tell her, that she would ask questions according to her level of understanding and that we just need to answer her question, not give her more info that what she is asking for. It's been in the last few months that I have realized that we'll get the privilege of doing this for the rest of her life. A privilege I am honored to have! Not only do I enjoy telling Katelynn about her sister, but I love hearing Kristen's name spoken without reservation like she does.
Thank you again to everyone that reads our blog. Sorry it hasn't been updated in so long. I have tons of fun things to post here with great photos, just haven't made the time yet. I've been trying to work on my personal blog a bit and of course keep up with Facebook! :) But I hope to get more posted to our family blog soon. Until then.......
-Tara
