(If you didn't catch the earlier post about my "black bonnet" this probably won't make a lot of sense.) I remembered the other day that we got these pins at the hospital and the little note with them read:"The Mourner's Ribbon -- This ribbon represents your journey of mourning. Moving forward through this journey is often aided by sharing your story. When you wear this ribbon, you invite others to ask about your loss. Each time this happens, you affirm the life of the lost baby you mourn and decide if this is a person with whom you wish to share."
At first I didn't want to wear it, but I think I found my black bonnet!
Tara,
ReplyDeleteI think that is a special way to share and feel comfort that people can learn of your circumstance.
I pray things get better each and every day for you! I think of you often. (My sister lost her baby, second daughter, full term, she was born stillborn) and I know how much it affects your family too. :(
I hope we can visit someday again!
Love, Vicki C.
Tara, I have been thinking and praying about you and your family a lot lately, so I thought I would check in with your blog to see how you were doing. Please know that I continue to pray for you all and if there is anything I can do in addition to praying, please let me know!!
ReplyDeleteTara, Kevin and Katelynn - Today I needed to write my thoughts down for Dad's Memorial and when finished went directly to your blog. Not having anything to comment on, I logged off and went about my day. However, as the day wore on I had to return to add my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteYesterday as we worked on the cabin, I couldn't help but relive the past 8 weeks and all that has transpired. Mom had gone to the local store to buy window cleaner and wipes and when she returned she held up a bottle of windex and said "Got a Pain, I'll spray windex on it". She was refering to the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding. I remembered that phrase as the one the dad used for curing every aliment.
Then today, which was a downer for me. I lost two people whom I loved much. One I only knew for a few days but anxiously awaited her birth. As I worked I couldn't help but think of what Kristens life would have been like. When I walk the hallway to my office every morning and pass the Missing Childrens Clearhouse or hear about an abused or abandoned child I can't help but wonder why my grandaughter was taken when so many others are born to parents who care so little for the child they produced. In short, why were those parents even allowed to have children in the first place. Why my grandaughter, who would have had such a loving and caring family.
As a grandparent, I like to talk about my second grandaughter and take comfort in knowing she is in heaven without pain and suffering.
I grieve with and for all three of you as we travel our journey. My thoughts and prayers are for all of us as we continue down this road we've been given.
I hope it was OK to add my thoughts to your site. Oh, by the way, if I knew Windex would take away our pain and help us through this, I'd buy a gallon or two.
Pappa
Hi Tara,
ReplyDeleteI keep wanting to comment, not sure if I should since we've never met, or what I would even say. Your posts are so brave and I'm glad that you are part of such a loving community. You couldn't be more right about the bonnet. I wish we had a better way in this society to express our hard times and be able to share our sorrow with people, not have to wonder who knows, who wants to know, who would be a good shoulder if they did know the grief just beneath the surface.
I lost a baby to miscarriage and the only thing that got me through was a necklace. Not many people asked about it (though it did garner compliments!), but I had it there as something tangible I could go to when the world got to be too much. I also found a lot of healing in reading other journeys, one particularly on sweetsalty.com (she expresses these feelings so well).
I suppose I've finally decided to comment here because I want to encourage you to keep writing if it helps you. Don't worry too much about which blog to use or if each entry seems sad. This is your family blog and Kristin is part of your family, so it's only natural you should want to talk about here here. Writing is healing, one tiny word at a time. I'm sending prayers your way (from renton, sorry if they get stuck in traffic now and then!) every day.
Thinking of you. I am glad you have found your bonnet. It is amazing how you can receive something at a time you're not quite ready for it, and then later find how perfect it is. Just keeping an open heart it finds it's way back to you just when you need it. :) You are your family are in our prayers. Hugs, Brooke
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