From the Alps to the Amazon....how'd I end up here?

Our church blog has a place where we're encouraged to post our own comments on what the "Word for the Year" means to us. I thought I would share what I posted there:
Word for the Year -- From the staff prayer and planning time for 2008, "Faith, Life Journey with God" was born. The Lord clearly revealed that the year ahead called for a lifelong perspective of our relationship with God. The reality of our faith, our lives and our journey is that God will be faithful to reveal himself as we faithfully pursue Him! Each year, there are numerous stories of lives that have been impacted by God through the Word for the Year. Share with us how it has impacted your life!

I had great plans for "my journey" this year; where my dreams were going to take me, what I'd do, all the fun I'd have. Of course I'd find ways to say it was all for God's glory, but that's just semantics. We were expecting our 2nd baby and thought we knew where our journey was headed, thought we had this "life" thing down, and faith...sure we had faith. (click the post title to keep reading the post)

But there was a different journey set out for me/us to travel. And the journey began. We lost our little girl three days after her birth and my life plans all flew out the window - I was on a journey, no doubt! I don't believe God wanted it to be this way, but He sure wasn't going to let me go it alone. He knew I hadn't packed for this trip, I don't have maps for this location, and all the preparing I had done in anticipation for what I thought was going to be my life journey was now irrelevant.

I was spiritually outfitted from head to toe for a trek across the Alps, but now I find myself lost in the Amazon. I now have to rely on faith for every single moment of survival in this strange place. And every single moment I find I am provided for, directed, reassured, and guided by the only tour guide that knows this treacherous path. I have to have faith for this life journey WITH God because the contrary would leave me completely and utterly helpless, desolate and alone. I don't feel strong, I don't feel like my faith is worth anything right now, and I certainly don't understand why I am here and where I am going. But I was given a wonderful definition of "faith" the other day: faith is trusting in advance, what will only make sense when seen in reverse. And I have to believe that's what faith is doing for me, getting me through today, so that tomorrow I can thank Him for yesterday. I'm not there yet, "today" is a long day but I know tomorrow will come.

And I am reminded that it's about a lifelong perspective...if I keep walking long enough, I've gotta find the Alps somewhere on the other side of this jungle!