I love dimples, even on elbows!!
I've fallen and I can't get up!!
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
My Girls
The quality of the photos didn't come through as I had hoped but they still look pretty great. I took these while waiting in our dentist's lobby. We may head back there for more photos some day!! :)
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Sticks and Stones
I heard someone make a judgmental comment the other day and didn't think much of it. It was in character for them and I did what I could to dismiss it. It wasn't directed at me personally, but it very well could have been. The criticism was aimed at a "nameless and faceless" individual on TV who wouldn't hear the jeering comment or be shamed by the judgment that was being sentenced through the screen. But as I sat in silence, I painfully knew that person could very easily be me and I wondered if the same comments would have been said if was me.
It wasn't until I heard my 4 year old repeat the exact same expression the very next day that it broke my heart. She didn't know what she was saying, she was just repeating what she had heard. But this time, it hurt. She said it with the same attitude and belittling she had heard it said the day before. Again, it wasn't directed at me personally, but hearing that criticism and condescending attitude come from my sweet preschooler was heart breaking. I stopped in my tracks and tried to gently explain to her why what she said was not okay, how it hurts people's feelings when those things are said, and that compassion was a better choice instead of finger pointing. I tried to explain that the person who said it wasn't being nice, without making them out to be a bad person. But it made me so painfully aware how easily we pass on our values to our children and how easily they pick up on things. Now, granted, this little 4 year old has always been extremely perceptive and picked up on things way too quickly! But this incident made me want to be more careful of how I say things and be aware of how they may be perceived by 4 year old little ears and to encourage anyone who is around her, or any child for that matter, to be aware of what you say. Preschoolers don't get sarcasm and don't really have a sense of when something is a joke and when it's not or when something is appropriate to be repeated or not. If you wouldn't say something to someone's face, don't say it around a child....because they probably will.
"Stick and stones may break my bones....but words will break my heart." Choose your words wisely. Please.
It wasn't until I heard my 4 year old repeat the exact same expression the very next day that it broke my heart. She didn't know what she was saying, she was just repeating what she had heard. But this time, it hurt. She said it with the same attitude and belittling she had heard it said the day before. Again, it wasn't directed at me personally, but hearing that criticism and condescending attitude come from my sweet preschooler was heart breaking. I stopped in my tracks and tried to gently explain to her why what she said was not okay, how it hurts people's feelings when those things are said, and that compassion was a better choice instead of finger pointing. I tried to explain that the person who said it wasn't being nice, without making them out to be a bad person. But it made me so painfully aware how easily we pass on our values to our children and how easily they pick up on things. Now, granted, this little 4 year old has always been extremely perceptive and picked up on things way too quickly! But this incident made me want to be more careful of how I say things and be aware of how they may be perceived by 4 year old little ears and to encourage anyone who is around her, or any child for that matter, to be aware of what you say. Preschoolers don't get sarcasm and don't really have a sense of when something is a joke and when it's not or when something is appropriate to be repeated or not. If you wouldn't say something to someone's face, don't say it around a child....because they probably will.
"Stick and stones may break my bones....but words will break my heart." Choose your words wisely. Please.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
I made it.
I wrote this on Labor Day and thought I'd come back and finish it when I was able to collect my thoughts better. Well, it's been over a week and they're no more collected than when I started writing so I'm just gonna hit publish and post the darn thing!!
I made it.
I made it through Labor Day Weekend.
Labor Day Weekend will always be Kristen's weekend to me. Sure there are her "dates" of Aug 29 & Sept 1. But I will always remember and refer to it as Labor Day weekend 2008.
We went to the hospital full of excitement and anticipation on Friday morning and we came home utterly devastated with empty arms Monday afternoon. Because it was a holiday weekend, our little corner of the NICU was pretty much all ours with only 1 or 2 visitors for other babies the whole time we were there. I was only in the same building as her (and coherent!) for about 20 hours of the precious 64 she was given, but I am so thankful I got what I did. I remember that weekend so vividly, yet sometimes it seems like it was all a bad dream. (I just re-read my blog post about that first and last morning with Kristen, ugh. more like a nightmare than a dream!)
But its hard to believe it's already been two years. I wonder if I am where I'm "supposed to be" by the two year mark. I'm reminded there is no timeline, although, our culture is really bad at showing it. Sometimes I'm glad that no one remembers her, or at least doesn't mention to me that they remember her, because it makes it easier for me when I want to pretend it never happened. There are days like that. When I feel like I have some "secret" about who I really am but I just want to be like all the other moms. But I'm not. I'm reminded that everytime I see a happy birth anouncement "baby and mom are doing great!" Although I am honestly and truly happy for them, I can't help but be a little jealous. No, a lot jealous. I'll never get the chance to send out that happy news.
So although there's no "timeline" I wonder where I'm supposed to be. I know of a few people that make huge deals out of their deceased baby's birthday. Nothing wrong with that. But I guess it's just not me. I wouldn't have anyone to make it a big deal with, I wouldn't want to make it weird for anyone I suppose. When I shared with my mom a few weeks before this weekend that I didn't know what or how I wanted to observe her birthday she said something along the lines of "well, you can always celebrate her in your heart." At first I wanted to roll my eyes and say "whatever!" but now that the weekend has passed, all I really did was remember her in my heart. Feels kinda lame, like I'm not doing justice to what she really means to me. But then I remember her every day in my own way and making a big deal out of it, well, I guess I worry it would weird people out. I know I shouldn't care what other people think, but I want to be normal, even though I know I'm not. Not in that way, anyway.
So, I made it. Even if "making it" meant ignoring it, hoping it wouldn't hurt, holding my breath for the significance of the weekend to go away, yet all the time wishing someone knew how important this weekend was to me. So now back to the business and distraction of every day life....and pretending to be normal.
I made it.
I made it through Labor Day Weekend.
Labor Day Weekend will always be Kristen's weekend to me. Sure there are her "dates" of Aug 29 & Sept 1. But I will always remember and refer to it as Labor Day weekend 2008.
We went to the hospital full of excitement and anticipation on Friday morning and we came home utterly devastated with empty arms Monday afternoon. Because it was a holiday weekend, our little corner of the NICU was pretty much all ours with only 1 or 2 visitors for other babies the whole time we were there. I was only in the same building as her (and coherent!) for about 20 hours of the precious 64 she was given, but I am so thankful I got what I did. I remember that weekend so vividly, yet sometimes it seems like it was all a bad dream. (I just re-read my blog post about that first and last morning with Kristen, ugh. more like a nightmare than a dream!)
But its hard to believe it's already been two years. I wonder if I am where I'm "supposed to be" by the two year mark. I'm reminded there is no timeline, although, our culture is really bad at showing it. Sometimes I'm glad that no one remembers her, or at least doesn't mention to me that they remember her, because it makes it easier for me when I want to pretend it never happened. There are days like that. When I feel like I have some "secret" about who I really am but I just want to be like all the other moms. But I'm not. I'm reminded that everytime I see a happy birth anouncement "baby and mom are doing great!" Although I am honestly and truly happy for them, I can't help but be a little jealous. No, a lot jealous. I'll never get the chance to send out that happy news.
So although there's no "timeline" I wonder where I'm supposed to be. I know of a few people that make huge deals out of their deceased baby's birthday. Nothing wrong with that. But I guess it's just not me. I wouldn't have anyone to make it a big deal with, I wouldn't want to make it weird for anyone I suppose. When I shared with my mom a few weeks before this weekend that I didn't know what or how I wanted to observe her birthday she said something along the lines of "well, you can always celebrate her in your heart." At first I wanted to roll my eyes and say "whatever!" but now that the weekend has passed, all I really did was remember her in my heart. Feels kinda lame, like I'm not doing justice to what she really means to me. But then I remember her every day in my own way and making a big deal out of it, well, I guess I worry it would weird people out. I know I shouldn't care what other people think, but I want to be normal, even though I know I'm not. Not in that way, anyway.
So, I made it. Even if "making it" meant ignoring it, hoping it wouldn't hurt, holding my breath for the significance of the weekend to go away, yet all the time wishing someone knew how important this weekend was to me. So now back to the business and distraction of every day life....and pretending to be normal.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Cupcakes for Kristen
On our way home from church today I asked Katelynn what she thought we should do to remember Kristen on her birthday. "Let's make cupcakes" was her first answer. We had already talked about that, so I said "Sure! What else?" "And candles too." "Okay. Anything else we can do to remember her?" She thinks for a minute and then says "Happy Birthday presents!" To which I replied, "Oh Honey, Kristen isn't here to open presents." She quickly answers enthusiastically, "That's okay, I can open her presents for her!"
So I of course had to ask what kind of presents we should get. She went through a whole list of presents sounding much like a shopping list for her! "a new skirt with leggin's, a shirt, some tights, and maybe some socks." Then out of no where she added that we should buy sippy cups. I think cupcakes will do. :)
So I of course had to ask what kind of presents we should get. She went through a whole list of presents sounding much like a shopping list for her! "a new skirt with leggin's, a shirt, some tights, and maybe some socks." Then out of no where she added that we should buy sippy cups. I think cupcakes will do. :)
Thursday, August 12, 2010
I just do.
I miss Kristen tonight. I've had a few times like these lately where I have flashbacks and am kinda taken by surprise by the power of my memories and the overwhelming emotion associated with them. Just remembering that last morning/day with her and doing my best to "stay present" in the midst of everything. I remember feeling so intensely and allowing myself to emote in anyway I wanted to. There's freedom and amazing physical release in sobbing. That was the first time I think I ever really did it - for real.
I often wonder if I try not to remember out of fear that it will take away the joy from having Ashely. But instead I'm just reminded. Reminded how awful that was and how wonderful this is. I'm reminded to be thankful even on days like today when Ashley seemed to cry for most of the day. Oh what I would have given to hear Kristen cry. But instead I have memories of her sweet little snoring sounds and her little noises she'd make.
I wish I had more positive memories of her. I do have some, but most of them are overshadowed by the pain of the whole experience. I want to be able to look back and smile - which I do, sometimes. But when I let myself really remember, it hurts. I guess the thoughts of Kristen make me happy - she was and always will be my baby. But its the memories that are harder to deal with.
I hear parents all the time say when they're expecting their 2nd child "how will I be able to love another one as much as I love my first?" I struggle with wondering how I will be able to still miss and grieve my 2nd and still enjoy and love my 3rd. But the answer is the same for both questions "You just do."
I am so in love with Ashley (and Katelynn) and I so deeply miss Kristen. I just do.
I often wonder if I try not to remember out of fear that it will take away the joy from having Ashely. But instead I'm just reminded. Reminded how awful that was and how wonderful this is. I'm reminded to be thankful even on days like today when Ashley seemed to cry for most of the day. Oh what I would have given to hear Kristen cry. But instead I have memories of her sweet little snoring sounds and her little noises she'd make.
I wish I had more positive memories of her. I do have some, but most of them are overshadowed by the pain of the whole experience. I want to be able to look back and smile - which I do, sometimes. But when I let myself really remember, it hurts. I guess the thoughts of Kristen make me happy - she was and always will be my baby. But its the memories that are harder to deal with.
I hear parents all the time say when they're expecting their 2nd child "how will I be able to love another one as much as I love my first?" I struggle with wondering how I will be able to still miss and grieve my 2nd and still enjoy and love my 3rd. But the answer is the same for both questions "You just do."
I am so in love with Ashley (and Katelynn) and I so deeply miss Kristen. I just do.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
A day in the life of a baby
In case you wondered where Ashley's title of FEISTY came form in the NICU! :)
Pardon Our Dust ... while we live life
I just read a blog post that is so encouraging to where I am at the moment. You can read it here. Sarah recounts having unexpected company knock on the door and her house is in no way company-worthy...much like mine is most of the time. But her guest reminds her that he's not there to inspect her clutter but to spend time with the people that made it. He says his house used to look like that too when there were kids there. Now that it's just him, there aren't those signs of life lying on the couch or filling the sink. My heart sunk for a moment. I was reminded that there will come a day when PBS Kids will not be part of my morning routine, when pacifiers and ponytail bands aren't hiding in the couch, the sink won't be filled with sippy cups and half eaten meals, and there will only be two toothbrushes in the bathroom. Although some days I look forward to that moment, I know it will be here too soon and I will long for these days of baby clutter and carseats.
Reading her blog made me want to make a big sign for my front door:
Reading her blog made me want to make a big sign for my front door:
Pardon Our Dust - Life In Progress.
If you're here to see us, please come in and watch your step.
If you're here to see our house, come back when our kids are in college.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Copy Cat Artist?
This week I heard Katelynn call from the other room, where the marker board is "Hey Mom, come look! I made treasure island!" I had no idea what she was talking about until I came around the corner. She had found my keys which has the tag from our kids check-in system at church. She correlated it with "Treasure Island", the kids building at the main campus, and deedless to say it was photo-worthy!
A family resemblance?
We get asked all the time who we think Ashely looks like....I think she looks like herself! But Katelynn on the other hand...there's times she looks just like Kevin and other times she looks just like me. I can't find the ones where she looks like Kevin at the moment but take a look at these!!
Palace Life
Do you consider your home a palace? I mean really, a home for royalty. How do you see your home? Your bed, your kitchen, your yard? There are millions, probably billions of people that, if given just a glimpse of your life would think you were royalty living in a posh palace. No matter what your home looks like. If you are able to read this, meaning you've had some education, you have power wherever you're at, and you have internet access which most of us pay for, then you are better off than millions of people. And to them, you live like royalty.
I caught a few minutes of a film last week during a 2am feeding that has been resonating in my head ever since. I don't know what the movie was and the part I saw was actually very disturbing. However, when I went back to bed I had a new perspective on life that is still changing how I look at my every day surroundings. The movie depicted the life of a single mother and her three young children as refugees in Africa. What they owned they carried, where they slept was wherever they stopped, what they drank or ate was always uncertain and their safety was always under attack. This was their reality. For that mother, her hope was to make it through another day without harm to her or her children. Comfort wasn't even in her vocabulary. So as I went back to bed and put Ashely safely in her bassinet I though of her. I thought of what she'd think of my home, my bedroom with my comfy bed and the bassinet where my daughter sleeps peacefully. Would she be amazed that ONE FAMILY lives in this home even though we talk of wanting more space? Would she see my home and our furnishing as lavish even though I see them as comfortable and common? It's not wrong for me to live here and have these things, but it was during that 2am feeding that I gained a whole new appreciation for and perspective of the many blessings I have.
There are billions of people around the world that don't even know we exist. They may not even know the earth is round or that there are billions of other people here. In their reality, in their world, someone as myself would be looked on as royalty with how I live. This huge structure that I didn't even build, my family well fed, clean and with too many clothes for their own good; just the fact that we have need for (and use!) closets and pantries, it's just a fairy tale or a dream to so many. I sometimes wonder what it would be like to live in the White House or one of those crazy multi-million-dollar mansions you see on TV, and it is with that same wonderment I realize millions if not billions of people wonder what it's like to live in MY house, this palace of sorts. Welcome to palace life.
I caught a few minutes of a film last week during a 2am feeding that has been resonating in my head ever since. I don't know what the movie was and the part I saw was actually very disturbing. However, when I went back to bed I had a new perspective on life that is still changing how I look at my every day surroundings. The movie depicted the life of a single mother and her three young children as refugees in Africa. What they owned they carried, where they slept was wherever they stopped, what they drank or ate was always uncertain and their safety was always under attack. This was their reality. For that mother, her hope was to make it through another day without harm to her or her children. Comfort wasn't even in her vocabulary. So as I went back to bed and put Ashely safely in her bassinet I though of her. I thought of what she'd think of my home, my bedroom with my comfy bed and the bassinet where my daughter sleeps peacefully. Would she be amazed that ONE FAMILY lives in this home even though we talk of wanting more space? Would she see my home and our furnishing as lavish even though I see them as comfortable and common? It's not wrong for me to live here and have these things, but it was during that 2am feeding that I gained a whole new appreciation for and perspective of the many blessings I have.
There are billions of people around the world that don't even know we exist. They may not even know the earth is round or that there are billions of other people here. In their reality, in their world, someone as myself would be looked on as royalty with how I live. This huge structure that I didn't even build, my family well fed, clean and with too many clothes for their own good; just the fact that we have need for (and use!) closets and pantries, it's just a fairy tale or a dream to so many. I sometimes wonder what it would be like to live in the White House or one of those crazy multi-million-dollar mansions you see on TV, and it is with that same wonderment I realize millions if not billions of people wonder what it's like to live in MY house, this palace of sorts. Welcome to palace life.
purposeful faith
"You know, I think we expected our faith to make this hurt less, but it doesn't. Our faith gave us an incredible amount of strength and encouragement while we had [baby] Hope, and we are comforted by the knowledge that she is in heaven. Our faith keeps us from being swallowed by despair. But I don't think it makes our loss hurt any less."
-from Nancy Guthrie's book "Holding on to Hope."
-from Nancy Guthrie's book "Holding on to Hope."
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Craking up with Froooooot-caaaaaake
Although they're not really clear, I've gotten some great smile shots of Ashley on my cell phone. The first one I actually got while repeating one of Katelynn's cartoon characters from her Hermie & Wormie videos. He says the word fruitcake as if he was in a trance "frooooot-caaaake". Ashley thought is was pretty funny! Now Katelynn keeps going up to her and saying "fruitcake, fruitcake!! thinking it's the word, not how it's said. Still cute!!
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Post #200 - We're all smiles!!
Hard to believe there are 200 posts on this blog! I know it's not much compared to some blogs, but considering the life that is contained in these "pages", I'd say it deserves a photo of one of Ashley's first smiles! Okay, two photos! Nama Kathy was getting her to grin and then along comes Big Sister and out comes the smile!
Thank you to all our "followers" that have been keeping tabs on us via our blog. This blog started out as a way to share photos with family, then it turned into a way to keep everyone updated on what was going on with Kristen. It then became an outlet for me to journal the crooked path of healing I/we were being lead on. Now it has once again become the place for us to share life from inside the Balcom home - as we're able! Blogging tends to take the back seat to screaming babies and needy preschoolers!!Life is still going on, some days its easier to blog than others, but I hope to continue chronicling life here. The good and the not-so-good. It's all a gift just the same.
Thank you to all our "followers" that have been keeping tabs on us via our blog. This blog started out as a way to share photos with family, then it turned into a way to keep everyone updated on what was going on with Kristen. It then became an outlet for me to journal the crooked path of healing I/we were being lead on. Now it has once again become the place for us to share life from inside the Balcom home - as we're able! Blogging tends to take the back seat to screaming babies and needy preschoolers!!Life is still going on, some days its easier to blog than others, but I hope to continue chronicling life here. The good and the not-so-good. It's all a gift just the same.
A Day at the Cabin
We headed up to the cabin on Saturday - it was just too nice to stay home! It was a beautiful drive and a nice visit. Kevin's parents are still finishing up the cabin but it's looking GREAT!! Here's a few photos from our visit.
A gorgeous day for a drive! I love that this is in my "back yard."
Helping Papa install the kitchen sink.
"If I tickle you will it help?"
"If I tickle you will it help?"
Playing with the big bubble maker from Warren & Peggy.
Ashley loves the wrap! So does mommy!
I love this photo!
Daddy's little girl and a little girl's hero!
Family Weekend
My parents were here for the weekend of my brother's graduation & Father's Day. Katelynn had so much fun showing off her little sister!
A new playmate!
Talk about an excited big sister!
She's always asking to hold her. I love it!
She's always asking to hold her. I love it!
Travis' Graduation
My brother Travis graduated with his Masters on Father's Day weekend and we were more than happy to celebrate with him. He's been in school as long as he's been married - TEN YEARS! His wife deserves an award herself for being so supportive of his marathon education. Way to go both of you!! Here's a few photos from the day.
My Sister-In-Law Amanda, Katelynn and my mom Lynn, all waiting for the ceremony to start.
Katelynn did such a great job during the whole 2 hour ceremony....thanks mainly in part to Auntie Manda's cell phone with game apps!! :)
Katelynn is a smart-phone addict! That's usually the first question she'll ask someone "can I see your phone?" So she was so excited to introduce Dylan (2yrs old) to the coloring game on Auntie's phone!
Grammy was in heaven!
Travis' father-in-law has a great sense of humor and creativity when it comes to gift giving! I didn't get a photo of the plaque, but there's plaque at the bottom of the abacus.
The Roberts/Balcom Clan.
My parents were in the Navy with Cathy and Joe George in Newfoundland back in the '70s. They took care of my brother while my parents were at the hospital while I was being born. We have a photo of Travis on her lap when he was just a little one, then another one of her on his lap when he was 18 or so. They opted for side-by-side photos this time!!
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Decisions Desicions
I need to blog. I love to blog. There's so much to share. I have a 5 week old, beautiful baby girl that I haven't written anything about. I need to blog. But then there's sleep...I need to sleep. I love to sleep. They say sleep when the baby sleeps....that's not always practical. During one of my prenatal visits the midwife and I were talking about being proactive against any kind of postpartum "blues" since that was so prominent after Katelynn was born and she said a huge help would be to do my best to get a 4-hour chunk of sleep every 24 hours. I thought, oh, that's all I need? I can do that. I can count on one hand how many times that's happened in the last 5 weeks. Surprisingly I'm still functioning! Some days better than others. But I'm starting to see that I really do need to work on getting just a bit more. Yes, I need to sleep. But I also need to eat. Knowing that keeping my body healthy will help maximize any sleep I do eventually get. Quite often I just plain forget. I get wrapped up in feeding Ashley, taking care of Katelynn, getting us ready to go here or there, and realize I haven't eaten since dinner! So I'm trying to do better with my mornings, but when I'm faced with the decision of what to do with the unknown amount of time I have between Ashley finally falling asleep and Katelynn not yet waking up, the decisions aren't so easy. I don't know how long I have so do I chance going to sleep and only getting 20 mins? If I take time to eat something I'll have less time to do anything else, like get on the computer and somehow connect with the outside world :). But when I get on the computer there's just so much to do! So I decided it was time to blog, at least to let people know I'm alive! Then I'll get something to eat. Oh, look, Katelynn's awake! Good thing I didn't try going to sleep! Maybe I'll get a nap later....ha, right! Because when that opportunity presents itself, I'll once again have to decide: I need to sleep, I need to eat, write thank you's, shower, grocery shop, reply to e-mails, do the dishes, pack up maternity clothes, blog, post photos, send out birth announcements, connect with friends, (assuming they remember who I am after all this time!) :) plan playdates for Katelynn, uh, just writing that list makes me want to take a nap. After I get Katelynn and I something to eat.
But on a lighter note, this morning while Ashely was awake from 2-4:30, I think I got my first real smile. Not those gastro induced ones she's done since we brought her home that she does in her sleep, but a real, eye contact open mouth grin. What a cutie!
But on a lighter note, this morning while Ashely was awake from 2-4:30, I think I got my first real smile. Not those gastro induced ones she's done since we brought her home that she does in her sleep, but a real, eye contact open mouth grin. What a cutie!
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Week 2 Baby Update :)
It's hard to believe that Ashley's already 18 days old!! Granted, 6 of those days were in the hospital and I was in a daze so I don't remember them very well. But here we are - home, healthy, and doing just fine. I'm sorry I haven't updated the blog much as I know there are lots of people checking it regularly for updates. Thank you!! We are doing well and truly appreciate all your messages - we just haven't had time to write you back!!
We had a check up this week and in the week that we'd had her home she gained just shy of a full pound (we brought her home a pretty much birth weight since she had maintained it due to IV's) and has already grown an inch since birth! The first week home she pretty much just slept. I think the first week of her life was so overwhelming she needed a week to recover!! It took her a few days to not flinch when we'd touch her because she was so used to having touch or movement mean someone was going to do something to her. Her feet were really sensitive for a while because that's where they did the blood draws. With all the sleeping in the first week home I was beginning to wonder what her personality was going to be since the feistyness that was there in the very beginning wasn't so obvious...well, she's still feisty!! She will go from zero to 60 in less than 2-3 seconds but thankfully she will also go 60 to zero in about 5. :) Most of the time! She usually just needs to be held and/or swaddled and she's good to go. She loves her vibrating chair - so much so that I went on Craiglist and got a bassinet that also has vibration! Unfortunately last night it started making a crazy screeching noise so we couldn't use that function last night. But when it comes to getting your baby to sleep, you'll do almost anything, even buy more baby equipment!! Now to get the other one sold....That's the one nice thing with knowing we won't have any more babies - as Ashley grows out of things we don't have to hang onto them!!
Katelynn has done really well with being a Big Sister. There hasn't been any animosity towards Ashley, which I was really worried about, having heard so many stories of older siblings wanting to "give the baby back." She loves to show her off to anyone that we meet or that comes to the house and she loves to show her things. "Hey Baby Ashley, look at my toy....Baby Ashley you want to see my toy again? Look at this Ashley, look at my toy! Mommy, can I show her my toy again?" We've had to ban her from touching her if we're not holding her after a slight car seat rocking incident. :( I try to encourage her to hug and kiss her as much as she wants to - as long as one of us is holding her!! She loves to dance for her and sing her songs, it's very cute! The only one not loving it so much is the dog. She won't sleep in our room anymore. :)
Kevin and I are doing pretty well considering. Kevin went back to work this week and I think we did pretty good. Two out of the four nights Ashley did pretty good sleep wise, the other two...not so much. We haven't yet figured out who does what during the night, so during the week Kevin helped get her to sleep and then I got up when she did. Knowing her schedule will keep changing for the next few weeks/months, we just have to be flexible! We've been blessed by friends & family coming off and on bringing meals, helping to take care of the house, and spend some 1:1 time with Katelynn. I think I'm healing fine, I've never had the chance to recover "normally" from a c-section so I don't know how I should be feeling! I do think I over did it a bit this week, as I'm getting sore, so today is going to be all about rest!! (after I get the blog updated of course!) But with Katelynn at Nama's for the weekend, Ashley asleep, Daddy working on the patio cover, I think rest is just what the doctor ordered!!
Kevin and I are doing pretty well considering. Kevin went back to work this week and I think we did pretty good. Two out of the four nights Ashley did pretty good sleep wise, the other two...not so much. We haven't yet figured out who does what during the night, so during the week Kevin helped get her to sleep and then I got up when she did. Knowing her schedule will keep changing for the next few weeks/months, we just have to be flexible! We've been blessed by friends & family coming off and on bringing meals, helping to take care of the house, and spend some 1:1 time with Katelynn. I think I'm healing fine, I've never had the chance to recover "normally" from a c-section so I don't know how I should be feeling! I do think I over did it a bit this week, as I'm getting sore, so today is going to be all about rest!! (after I get the blog updated of course!) But with Katelynn at Nama's for the weekend, Ashley asleep, Daddy working on the patio cover, I think rest is just what the doctor ordered!!
Newborn Photos
Woo-hoo!! We got our photos back from our photographer last night and we are so pleased!!! We obviously couldn't post all of them, so here's a look at some of our favorites! Thank you Sarah!! www.sarahdawnphotography.com
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Daddy and his three princesses
I just couldn't wait to post this - I don't have the rest of them, but here's a sneak peak at our photo shoot from last week. Don't I have a beautiful family!! And doesn't Sarah do an amazing job!! I wanted a way to incorporate Kristen into our family photos without it being "weird." I think this came out beautifully!!
Thank you Sarah!! http://www.sarahdawnphotography.com/
Thank you Sarah!! http://www.sarahdawnphotography.com/
Daddy and his three princesses :)
Monday, May 31, 2010
Blogs
Last night during one of Ashley's cluster feedings I sat at the computer and skimmed all my friends' blog posts that I've missed over the last two weeks. I didn't have my glasses with me so I didn't read them all, I just took in the quantity of what had happened since I was last in blog world. It was a blatant reminder that life still goes on outside of your bubble, when life inside of your bubble comes to a screeching halt.
I also realized how much I miss blogging. A friend of mine wrote in her blog profile "I write to find my voice, share my life, and purge my brain." Those are the same reasons I love(d) to write. I could sit and write about anything and feel better - even if it was about something silly Katelynn did that day, just writing felt good and made me feel good. But the last few weeks it's seemed like such a task to do so. Granted, I've been a little busy! But somewhere along the line I started writing for an "audience" and forgot what it was to simply find my voice, share my life or purge my brain. I want to get back to that. I need to get back to that. Not sure how I'll do it with a newborn and a very attention-needy 4 year old, but I've gotta try!
I also realized how much I miss blogging. A friend of mine wrote in her blog profile "I write to find my voice, share my life, and purge my brain." Those are the same reasons I love(d) to write. I could sit and write about anything and feel better - even if it was about something silly Katelynn did that day, just writing felt good and made me feel good. But the last few weeks it's seemed like such a task to do so. Granted, I've been a little busy! But somewhere along the line I started writing for an "audience" and forgot what it was to simply find my voice, share my life or purge my brain. I want to get back to that. I need to get back to that. Not sure how I'll do it with a newborn and a very attention-needy 4 year old, but I've gotta try!
Friday, May 21, 2010
What the %#*@! just happened!!
I've got just a few minutes to get something posted here to let you all know what's been going on. I'm sorry in advance that this will be brief, a bit blunt, and not my typical storytelling-blog style. However, we feel really bad that no one really knows what's transpired over the last week and we really want to get you all filled in.
So in a (larger) nut-shell here's where we've been in the last week:
Tuesday was Ashely's due date and we were told on Monday there were some signs that she needed to be born sooner than later. We were given 1-2 days to go into labor before we'd have to have a repeat c-section so we opted for some natural "nudging" into labor with the hopes of having a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). Monday night I went into labor and we headed up to Seattle where we were planning on having Ashely. I labored fairly well for a few hours until they had a hard time tracking her heart tones and my contractions. I won't go into detail now (I want to do the story justice!) but from that moment the words and events of Ashley's birth mimicked those of Kristen. The one difference is that at when they went to do internal monitoring of her heart tones and my contractions they couldn't find her. At that same time I went into excruciating pain and was able to point to the place where I hurt so bad and they knew something was wrong. When they couldn't find her heartrate they had to do surgery to ensure she was okay. Which meant the same unlocking of the wheels and leaving Kevin and Sarah (or doula) in the room as I was rushed off to the OR - just like it was with Kristen.
It ended up that my uterus erupted (how appropriate that it "erupted" on Mt. St. Helen's Day!) and Ashely and the placenta were "born" into my abdomen. Again, I'll save the details now, but it was about 30 seconds from the time they made the first cut to when she was born since she was "right there!" There is less than a 1% chance of this ever happening in VBAC births, and apparently I pulled the short straw with that statistic. I was able to be sewn up and had very little bleeding, praise the Lord!
She was quickly put on various monitoring machines with a ventilator - which she quickly pulled out! :) And observed. The worry was that they didn't know how long she had been without her life-line and oxygen of her placenta. When they did a blood gas test on her umbilical cord (which would tell them how toxic her blood was), it wasn't looking good. Her numbers were poor which revealed possible brain damage due to the lack of oxygen. HOWEVER, when they did the same test on her body blood - her numbers were okay!! The Doc said she had no way of explaining this!! PRAISE THE LORD!!!
It was determined that she needed to have more testing to ensure her brain was okay so they opted to send her to Children's Hospital where they had the ability to do more extensive testing. I did get to see her before they took her away, since it wasn't in a rush situation.
At Children's they did a 12hr brain scan which only showed the slighted little blip. They decided to make sure that she is 110% okay so they started a 72 hour hypothermia test. This is where they lower her body temperature to about 95 degrees for 72 hours, allowing her brain and body to "reset" themselves. Think of when people have hypothermia and their bodies start to shut down - same thing - although highly controlled and it allows her to kind of recover from her traumatic birth. After the 72 hours, they will warm her up again and watch what she does - checking for seizures and seeing how she "restarts." (much like restarting your computer when it stalls and watching all the start-up programs pop up.) She was given morphine to stay comfortable and not shiver, to warm herself up. We were able to touch and talk to her, just not hold her which would transfer body heat. She has done great on this test although she doesn't like being cold! The cooling blanket she's on will fluctuate in temp and when it starts to cool you know it because she gets ticked!! :) She didn't like her electrodes on her head and kept pulling at them from all sides. She fusses when her bed is cold. She pulled her vent tube out at just hours old. They started using the word "fiesty" to describe her and I have a feeling it fits her quite well!! :)
I was able to pump some breastmilk and give it to her (it was a labor of love let me tell you!!!!) - which she devoured in a few seconds!! It was just enough to give her a taste, as she's getting nutrition through IV's. As of this morning they've upped the amount of milk she's allowed to have which is a VERY positive sign.
Everyone in the NICU just loves her and it's fun to hear fun reports of what she's doing, not just the medical stuff. :)
I feel I am totally cutting this story short, but we need to head up to Seattle and be there when she "wakes up" today. The warming started at 8am and should be complete at 2:30pm. We have a feeling we'll be meeting our baby again for the first time once she is no longer in her "hibernation" state. They are doing an MRI this afternoon - which is another MAJOR answer to prayer. Last night we were told we'd have to wait until Monday to have it done and we asked why not Friday and the doc said she'd see what she could do, but it was unlikely. We prayed on the way home that it would happened today and when I called this morning they said it was scheduled for 4pm. I just started crying and saying "thank you!!!"
They will warm her today and watch her for the next while and then it's up to the docs and Ashley as to when she goes home. We're hoping that by Saturday evening or Sunday we get to bring her home......c'mon baby girl!!
We can't say thank you enough to everyone that has been praying - without knowing any details - for us and just surrounding us with your love, words of encouragement, and prayer. I look forward to writing more on the blog and doing the story (and all of God's miracles that are happening along the way) more justice. So until then, THANK YOU!!!!
Love, The Balcom Family of FOUR!!
So in a (larger) nut-shell here's where we've been in the last week:
Tuesday was Ashely's due date and we were told on Monday there were some signs that she needed to be born sooner than later. We were given 1-2 days to go into labor before we'd have to have a repeat c-section so we opted for some natural "nudging" into labor with the hopes of having a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). Monday night I went into labor and we headed up to Seattle where we were planning on having Ashely. I labored fairly well for a few hours until they had a hard time tracking her heart tones and my contractions. I won't go into detail now (I want to do the story justice!) but from that moment the words and events of Ashley's birth mimicked those of Kristen. The one difference is that at when they went to do internal monitoring of her heart tones and my contractions they couldn't find her. At that same time I went into excruciating pain and was able to point to the place where I hurt so bad and they knew something was wrong. When they couldn't find her heartrate they had to do surgery to ensure she was okay. Which meant the same unlocking of the wheels and leaving Kevin and Sarah (or doula) in the room as I was rushed off to the OR - just like it was with Kristen.
It ended up that my uterus erupted (how appropriate that it "erupted" on Mt. St. Helen's Day!) and Ashely and the placenta were "born" into my abdomen. Again, I'll save the details now, but it was about 30 seconds from the time they made the first cut to when she was born since she was "right there!" There is less than a 1% chance of this ever happening in VBAC births, and apparently I pulled the short straw with that statistic. I was able to be sewn up and had very little bleeding, praise the Lord!
She was quickly put on various monitoring machines with a ventilator - which she quickly pulled out! :) And observed. The worry was that they didn't know how long she had been without her life-line and oxygen of her placenta. When they did a blood gas test on her umbilical cord (which would tell them how toxic her blood was), it wasn't looking good. Her numbers were poor which revealed possible brain damage due to the lack of oxygen. HOWEVER, when they did the same test on her body blood - her numbers were okay!! The Doc said she had no way of explaining this!! PRAISE THE LORD!!!
It was determined that she needed to have more testing to ensure her brain was okay so they opted to send her to Children's Hospital where they had the ability to do more extensive testing. I did get to see her before they took her away, since it wasn't in a rush situation.
At Children's they did a 12hr brain scan which only showed the slighted little blip. They decided to make sure that she is 110% okay so they started a 72 hour hypothermia test. This is where they lower her body temperature to about 95 degrees for 72 hours, allowing her brain and body to "reset" themselves. Think of when people have hypothermia and their bodies start to shut down - same thing - although highly controlled and it allows her to kind of recover from her traumatic birth. After the 72 hours, they will warm her up again and watch what she does - checking for seizures and seeing how she "restarts." (much like restarting your computer when it stalls and watching all the start-up programs pop up.) She was given morphine to stay comfortable and not shiver, to warm herself up. We were able to touch and talk to her, just not hold her which would transfer body heat. She has done great on this test although she doesn't like being cold! The cooling blanket she's on will fluctuate in temp and when it starts to cool you know it because she gets ticked!! :) She didn't like her electrodes on her head and kept pulling at them from all sides. She fusses when her bed is cold. She pulled her vent tube out at just hours old. They started using the word "fiesty" to describe her and I have a feeling it fits her quite well!! :)
I was able to pump some breastmilk and give it to her (it was a labor of love let me tell you!!!!) - which she devoured in a few seconds!! It was just enough to give her a taste, as she's getting nutrition through IV's. As of this morning they've upped the amount of milk she's allowed to have which is a VERY positive sign.
Everyone in the NICU just loves her and it's fun to hear fun reports of what she's doing, not just the medical stuff. :)
I feel I am totally cutting this story short, but we need to head up to Seattle and be there when she "wakes up" today. The warming started at 8am and should be complete at 2:30pm. We have a feeling we'll be meeting our baby again for the first time once she is no longer in her "hibernation" state. They are doing an MRI this afternoon - which is another MAJOR answer to prayer. Last night we were told we'd have to wait until Monday to have it done and we asked why not Friday and the doc said she'd see what she could do, but it was unlikely. We prayed on the way home that it would happened today and when I called this morning they said it was scheduled for 4pm. I just started crying and saying "thank you!!!"
They will warm her today and watch her for the next while and then it's up to the docs and Ashley as to when she goes home. We're hoping that by Saturday evening or Sunday we get to bring her home......c'mon baby girl!!
We can't say thank you enough to everyone that has been praying - without knowing any details - for us and just surrounding us with your love, words of encouragement, and prayer. I look forward to writing more on the blog and doing the story (and all of God's miracles that are happening along the way) more justice. So until then, THANK YOU!!!!
Love, The Balcom Family of FOUR!!
Friday, May 14, 2010
Earning My Keep
I love being on a budget. Call me crazy, but it actually gives me the freedom to spend when I have money to spend and it gives me the challenge to make my money go as far as possible. I have a friend that talks at various groups about living on a budget and shopping smart. She guessed that in ten or so years she's saved her family roughly $60K just by being smart with her money and being on a budget. So I began thinking, wouldn't it be cool to actually know how much I'm able to SAVE our family?? My budget tells me how much I have to spend, but how much have I saved!?
So when I started "getting serious about couponing" back in January, I found a tracking chart that would help me keep track of what I spent & saved. I know I am still missing a handful of receipts (they'll show up along the way!), but I've been trying to track my spending/savings since the beginning of the year, or at least mid-January. Although I'm only at about an average 70% savings, and I still see myself as an amateur, I'm pretty proud of what I've been able to do thus far. And my family isn't having to "suffer" being on a budget. I can assure you, I've NEVER had this many different kinds of name-brand cereal, razors, shaving cream, shampoo, cleaners, juices, etc, etc, available to us! And for pennies. If not free!! :)
There was actually a friendly challenge this week on one of the bargain blogs I follow to see how far you could make $20 go in one week. Well, I made a few mistakes along the way, but I was able to get $141.64 worth of items at Walgreens for right about $16. Then I also got 12 cases of water at Albertson's for $13.88 - saving $46 - and being able to donate some of it to our MOPS garage/bake sale.
So although I'm "just a stay-at-home mom" I like to think (and know!!) that I'm earning my keep with what I've done so far this year. And if the proof is in the pudding, then here's the pudding - with whipped cream!! (which would have been on sale of course!) :)
Total since Mid-January 2010 to Mid-May 2010:
$613.83 Total Spent since mid-January (groceries, toiletries, diapers, household items, etc.)
Granted I probably should add the disclaimer that I don't include my Costco runs or Summit Trading Co. to my tracking sheet simply because I don't necessarily get good deals there, I just get what I need. So I supposed I'd have to add Pull-Ups, some TP & Paper towels, and random bags of produce here and there. But all in all, I still think my numbers are pretty good!!
So when I started "getting serious about couponing" back in January, I found a tracking chart that would help me keep track of what I spent & saved. I know I am still missing a handful of receipts (they'll show up along the way!), but I've been trying to track my spending/savings since the beginning of the year, or at least mid-January. Although I'm only at about an average 70% savings, and I still see myself as an amateur, I'm pretty proud of what I've been able to do thus far. And my family isn't having to "suffer" being on a budget. I can assure you, I've NEVER had this many different kinds of name-brand cereal, razors, shaving cream, shampoo, cleaners, juices, etc, etc, available to us! And for pennies. If not free!! :)
There was actually a friendly challenge this week on one of the bargain blogs I follow to see how far you could make $20 go in one week. Well, I made a few mistakes along the way, but I was able to get $141.64 worth of items at Walgreens for right about $16. Then I also got 12 cases of water at Albertson's for $13.88 - saving $46 - and being able to donate some of it to our MOPS garage/bake sale.
So although I'm "just a stay-at-home mom" I like to think (and know!!) that I'm earning my keep with what I've done so far this year. And if the proof is in the pudding, then here's the pudding - with whipped cream!! (which would have been on sale of course!) :)
Total since Mid-January 2010 to Mid-May 2010:
$613.83 Total Spent since mid-January (groceries, toiletries, diapers, household items, etc.)
$1,062.59 Coupon Savings (yes, those glossy inserts from your Sunday paper do pay off!)
$853.60 Store Savings (pays to watch the sales, or at least the blogs that do it for you!)
$1,916.19 Total SAVINGS (how much I’ve SAVED my family in 5 months!!)
$2,530.02 SPENDING + SAVINGS (what it would have cost me right off the shelf, no sale or coupon)
71% TOTAL % SAVED
Granted I probably should add the disclaimer that I don't include my Costco runs or Summit Trading Co. to my tracking sheet simply because I don't necessarily get good deals there, I just get what I need. So I supposed I'd have to add Pull-Ups, some TP & Paper towels, and random bags of produce here and there. But all in all, I still think my numbers are pretty good!!
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Week 39 and a new prayer request
Well, we've made it to 39 weeks. Technically her due date isn't until next week so she's still got time. However, the midwives are already starting to talk about possible interventions IF they're needed, IF she doesn't come on her own within the next week and a half or so. For those that don't know, my last delivery was via a cesarean section so this time around I am opting for a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) because there's no medical reason to have another surgery if my body can do things naturally. The only glitch is that I can't be induced with a VBAC, it has to happen on it's own, or else we schedule the surgery. That's still a ways off, but definitely on the horizon. Normally moms are allowed to go up to two weeks passed their due dates for a normal delivery. I'm gonna be hard pressed to make it that far simply because of my history!
So although every mom wishes to not have to go passed her due date for the obvious comfort and excitement reasons, I'm asking for prayers that we don't have to worry about that for intervention reasons! If Ashley doesn't make her debut by next week sometime, we'll be offered various tests just to make sure she's okay in there and then start talking about possible interventions to help her along. I know I want her to come when she's ready, but I really hope she's ready before the doctors/midwives are!! :)
Here's the update for this week:
Your baby's waiting to greet the world! She continues to build a layer of fat to help control her body temperature after birth, but it's likely she already measures about 20 inches and weighs a bit over 7 pounds, a mini watermelon. (Boys tend to be slightly heavier than girls.) The outer layers of her skin are sloughing off as new skin forms underneath.
So although every mom wishes to not have to go passed her due date for the obvious comfort and excitement reasons, I'm asking for prayers that we don't have to worry about that for intervention reasons! If Ashley doesn't make her debut by next week sometime, we'll be offered various tests just to make sure she's okay in there and then start talking about possible interventions to help her along. I know I want her to come when she's ready, but I really hope she's ready before the doctors/midwives are!! :)
Here's the update for this week:
Your baby's waiting to greet the world! She continues to build a layer of fat to help control her body temperature after birth, but it's likely she already measures about 20 inches and weighs a bit over 7 pounds, a mini watermelon. (Boys tend to be slightly heavier than girls.) The outer layers of her skin are sloughing off as new skin forms underneath.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
More Crazy Shopping
Okay so this is actually two trips to the store. One for the non-fridge stuff while out with Katelynn, and then one after dinner by myself to get the rest. And I even made a trip to Fred Meyer in between too, but that's a different post as it was just for freezer jam ingredients! (awesome sale going on!)
So here's the rundown:
My total out of pocket was a little higher than normal: $52.64. However, that includes the crazy 17lb watermelon @ $.59/lb- it better be good!! ( for $10) and 5lbs of the half-price bacon (for $10). I also walked away with $17 in credit for my next purchase that I was going to use on these items but they wouldn't scan. They told me they weren't usable until the next day although one did work...oh well! I'll use them on the super cheap water I got rain checks for!
So out of pocket $52.64 - $17 in credit = $35.64
Total savings (including the credit) $121.82...not bad!!
So aside from the watermelon and the bacon, I got the REST OF IT for only $15!!!
So what did I get?: (other than the crazy watermelon and the bacon) :)
4 Cheez-Its @ $.50 each
Danonino Yogurt $.19
2 Dole Sensations FREE
Ortega Chiles $.38 each
Nestle Drumsticks $0.50
Nestle Mini Drumsticks $2.00 (pregnancy splurge!)
2 Tyson 100% Natural Breaded Chicken $2.99 each
Pepperidge Farm Cookies FREE (forgot to put in photo, they were the snack/reward for the day!)
Mission Tortillas $.04 (yes, 4 pennies!)
4 Del Monte Fruit Chillers $.99 each
Whole Wheat Tortillas $? These didn’t come out right and I’m just now noticing it!
12 Kellogg’s Cereals $1.50 each but this is how I got the $21 in credit so technically I was paid $.25 for each box!!
And to top it all off, as I walked out of the store there was a Proctor & Gamble Sunday coupon book/insert lying on the ground! More free money!!
Thanks to the ladies at the following blogs/websites - without your help, there'd be no way I could do this on my own! You put all the work into it and I just have to follow your lead! You tell me what coupons to get from where and how to match them up at the store with their sales. Thanks!
http://fabulesslyfrugal.com/
http://www.couponconnectionsnw.com/
http://www.thriftynorthwestmom.com/
So here's the rundown:
My total out of pocket was a little higher than normal: $52.64. However, that includes the crazy 17lb watermelon @ $.59/lb- it better be good!! ( for $10) and 5lbs of the half-price bacon (for $10). I also walked away with $17 in credit for my next purchase that I was going to use on these items but they wouldn't scan. They told me they weren't usable until the next day although one did work...oh well! I'll use them on the super cheap water I got rain checks for!
So out of pocket $52.64 - $17 in credit = $35.64
Total savings (including the credit) $121.82...not bad!!
So aside from the watermelon and the bacon, I got the REST OF IT for only $15!!!
So what did I get?: (other than the crazy watermelon and the bacon) :)
4 Cheez-Its @ $.50 each
Danonino Yogurt $.19
2 Dole Sensations FREE
Ortega Chiles $.38 each
Nestle Drumsticks $0.50
Nestle Mini Drumsticks $2.00 (pregnancy splurge!)
2 Tyson 100% Natural Breaded Chicken $2.99 each
Pepperidge Farm Cookies FREE (forgot to put in photo, they were the snack/reward for the day!)
Mission Tortillas $.04 (yes, 4 pennies!)
4 Del Monte Fruit Chillers $.99 each
Whole Wheat Tortillas $? These didn’t come out right and I’m just now noticing it!
12 Kellogg’s Cereals $1.50 each but this is how I got the $21 in credit so technically I was paid $.25 for each box!!
And to top it all off, as I walked out of the store there was a Proctor & Gamble Sunday coupon book/insert lying on the ground! More free money!!
Thanks to the ladies at the following blogs/websites - without your help, there'd be no way I could do this on my own! You put all the work into it and I just have to follow your lead! You tell me what coupons to get from where and how to match them up at the store with their sales. Thanks!
http://fabulesslyfrugal.com/
http://www.couponconnectionsnw.com/
http://www.thriftynorthwestmom.com/
The gift that keeps on giving
Thanks Mom & Dad for the gift that keeps on giving!! (and thanks Kevin for not making me give/throw it away over all these years of no-use!) :)
Spider Sandwiches
Not sure what Katelynn's fascination with spiders is, but she talks about them all the time. She has even asked for a spider themed 5th birthday (next February!) and so far I think I've got her more interested in a lady bug birthday. We'll see!!
So today when I asked her what kind of sandwich she wanted for lunch she jokingly said she wanted spider sandwiches. I had enough energy and wit today to oblige. :) When I told her that her spider sandwich was ready she looked at me a little confused and asked if they were real spiders. I said "come see for yourself!" I had used peanut butter chips (couldn't find the normal size chocolate ones, only minis) and chocolate sprinkles for the legs. Once she saw them on the peanut butter side of her sandwich she of course asked is she could put them on the jelly side too!
So today when I asked her what kind of sandwich she wanted for lunch she jokingly said she wanted spider sandwiches. I had enough energy and wit today to oblige. :) When I told her that her spider sandwich was ready she looked at me a little confused and asked if they were real spiders. I said "come see for yourself!" I had used peanut butter chips (couldn't find the normal size chocolate ones, only minis) and chocolate sprinkles for the legs. Once she saw them on the peanut butter side of her sandwich she of course asked is she could put them on the jelly side too!
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