To Tree or not toTree? That is the question

I had been prepared to decorate our home this year for Christmas, until I looked at the calendar. We'll be heading to Spokane to be with family for the week of Christmas and that's just a week and a half away. I really enjoyed decorating last year, but this year Christmas just doesn't have the same zeal it used to. Now, don't get me wrong. I know the real meaning of Christmas and I'm not saying that's not important. It's just hard to be "merry and bright" and celebrate the birth of a baby when your heart's broken over the loss of your own.
I don't necessarily want to skip out on the tradition of decorating the tree with Kevin and Katelynn but feel it would just be an exercise of normalcy for sake of a forced "normal". I was looking forward to hanging a special ornament for Kristen and hearing Katelynn's constant squeals over Christmas lights! (we finally had to tell her not to scream in the car at EVERY light, even non-Christmas lights!) It's not that I want to be a Scrooge, but to be completely honest I just don't think I have what it takes this year. I question if it will help me get through the underlying sadness, seeing all the pretty lights and ornaments, or be a constant reminder that I don't have a little 4 month old cooing at the lights or that we won't have a family of 4 picture in front of it. We won't have tons of gifts to put under the tree, (and if we did, they wouldn't go there until Dec 24th anyway, we DO still have an almost three year old running around!!) and the ones we do have will be opened at family gatherings. So I am left to wonder if all the effort of getting out the tree and decorating it for a week's worth of enjoyment would truly bring that enjoyment, although greatly needed, I just don't know if it's worth it.
I guess we'll find out if the next post is "look at our pretty tree!" :)