Monday, January 26, 2009

Update on "the grand prize"

I have been asked by a number of people about what the prizes were. So here's a run down:
As a qualifier I got a gift certificate for a salon/spa up in Everett.
As Week 1's grand prize winner I get tickets to the Chris Tomlin concert in March.
I also get a VIP shopping trip from Marci Jewelery in Bellevue. They will send a limo to pick us up and take us to the store for a catered lunch and a private shopping time (I'm assuming with all the other winners of the contest) where we each will get to spend $1000!! I have NO IDEA what I'll get!! I'm not much of a fancy jewelery person but I would like a watch with Kristen's two birthstones in it. (August for her birth to earth and September for her birth to heaven.) And I've also thought about getting something for Katelynn in honor of Kristen. But we'll see once we get there!
But as I've said since the start, I entered the contest not even knowing what the "prizes" were. I really just wanted a chance to share a small part of Kristen's story and the radio station gave me a perfect opportunity through a very fun (and rewarding) avenue!!

Kristen's Story Won! Thank you!

Yeah! Kristen's story won last week's grand prize on the Spirit 105.3 Love Story Contest!!
They called the house this morning while I was on my way to MOPS but Kevin couldn't get to the phone. I had him call back the number from caller ID and they said to have me call the studio line. I tried for three hours and only got busy signals!! So they eventually called my cell phone around 12:30 today and told me I won. They asked me to tell them more about Kristen and I was honored to. I love getting to talk about that little girl! I don't know if it was recorded or not or if it will be put on the web. The one thing I feel kinda bad about is not giving more glory and credit to God after their comments of "your such a strong and amazing woman" or "it's amazing you can tell this story without bitterness". I know He deserves the credit because it if wasn't for Him I don't think we would have been able to keep breathing after September 1st. But here we are almost 5 months later and life continues to go on, the world continues to turn, and I continue to have moments of healing....like getting to tell Kristen's story on the radio! So without further ado, Thank you Jesus for getting me to the point where I want to and even can share Kristen's story. And thank you for all the blessings that have been received in correlation to this contest.

I have no way of thanking all the people that helped in voting for our story - so I really hope that they will find out somehow! If you passed on the encouragement to vote, please pass on the good news! And if you have your own story definitely submit it! Just as a qualifier you get a pretty great gift!! They will be doing it for three more weeks (counting this week).

Again thank you everyone who voted! Thank you for allowing me to share Kristen's story with you and thank you for helping me tell so many others!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

What is Grief?

I just found this saying given by a mom who had three teenage boys and then had 5, count them FIVE subsequent lost babies! Trisomy 18 due on Mother's Day but came a month early, Trisomy 21 miscarrage, and three more miscarrages, two of them on separate Thanksgiving Days. This woman and her story leave me speechless.

Grief is Not a Sign of Weakness,
Nor a Loss of Faith,
It is the Price Of Love

My love for Kristen must have been really expensive!! :)

So I guess as long as I grieve (in whatever form that takes) I will be actively loving Kristen.
I kiss Katelynn with my lips, I kiss Kristen with my tears.

I know one day there won't be so many tears and the ache won't be as painful, but I will always grieve and love my little angel baby. I'll just be finding new ways to tell her as I learn to better celebrate her life and not so much mourn her death....one day at a time.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Thank you for your continued support!

I don't know how or even who to thank for all the support we're getting with the "Love Story" contest and all the people voting for our story and then passing on the message to their friends and family. I keep getting e-mails from people letting me know of their support and their vote. THANK YOU!! The voting keeps going until Friday and I am really excited to hear how it all turns out. Please check back here for the results and if you passed on the word, I'd love your help in letting them know the results. I am so thankful for everyone's support and encouragement.....even from people we have never met and probably never will meet. Thank you!
-Tara

Friday, January 16, 2009

Update on voting for Kristen's Story

Sorry I forgot to mention that the Love Story voting will start Saturday the 17th and run through Friday the 23rd at www.spirit1053.com. I am really looking forward to knowing Kristen's story will be told and that through it more parents may chose life for their babies, even if it means not having "a happy ending."
Thank you again for your vote and for asking your friends/family to vote! If you're on Faceboook I'd love you to pass the word!! :)

Kristen's story needs your VOTE!!!

Remember that radio contest I entered this week with my "love story" of Kristen? Well, I am one of the top 5 qualifiers! Now it's up to all of you to vote for your favorite love story at the radio's website. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE take a quick second and visit their website and cast your vote! www.spirit1053.com and look for the "Love Story" link.

I will be sending in a photo today and it will be up on their website tomorrow (Saturday the 17th) with the 5 other stories and it will run for 6 days. The story with the most votes will get a Marcy Jewelers gift certificate and a VIP shopping trip.

The lady I spoke with this morning said she really appreciated me sharing my story because a lot of people that lose their babies don't talk about it and she is hoping this will be encouraging for those that hear the story. Not only would it be fun to win the prize, but I really want Kristen's story to be told and people to be aware of Trisomy 18....and how much I love my baby.

Thank you in advance for your vote and please spread the word and encourage other to vote too!!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Goodies for a Good Cause

I wanted to put in a shameless plug for two really cute little girls and the fund raisers they're doing.

First, Katelynn and I attend a parent-co-op preschool and we're all responsible for helping with the fund raising. This quarter we are selling See's Candy for Valentine's Day. There's lots of options to chose from starting at $5, chocolate gift boxes, peanut brittle, and even gift certificates for 1lb of chocolate! We have to have our orders in by January 23rd and we'll get the orders by February 2nd.

Second, a friend of mine has an 8 year old daughter named Bella and she has Mosaic Trisomy 18. (it was Bella who gave me hope that Kristen might actually make it.) She is one of only two girls in her Girl Scout troop and they are pre-selling their cookies. (Payments don't have to be made until March.) If they sell 1000 boxes they will get a two-night stay at the Great Wolf Lodge. (how fun! can I join their group!?) Each box is $4 and these are the options: Lemon Chalet Cremes, Dulce De Leche, Trefoils, Sugar Free Chocolate Chips, Do-Si-Dos, Tagalongs, Samoas, and of course Thin Mints.

If you'd like to get some sweets from either of these sweeties for your own sweetie, (or for yourself!) please contact me (via e-mail or the blog) and we'll get you hooked up!! :)

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

My "Love Story" Contest entry

Our local Christian radio station is having a "Love Story" contest and they are encouraging people to send in their stories, even those that aren't the typical boy meets girl story. I'd been contemplating it for a while and finally did it. Here's my entry:

Not all moms have an instant bond with their babies. My daughter Kristen was born with a chromosomal defect called Trisomy 18 and was taken to another hospital for care while I recovered from surgery. I didn't get to really hold her until she was almost 2 days old an I was well enough to go see her. There were lots of visitors in and out of the NICU my first day with her so at 5 in the morning I decided it was time for some mother/daughter time. I wanted to meet my baby and I wanted her to know who her mommy was. She and I spent almost 2 hours snuggling together in spite of the tubes and monitors she was hooked up to. Sadly, she was born into heaven about three hours later. I will never forget that early morning visit where I got to truly meet my daughter and we fell in love for the first time.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Four months and counting

I was putting Katelynn down for bed the other night and singing her routine list of songs and had a little moment of realization. We were singing Jesus Loves Me and I was taken back to 4 months ago when I couldn't sing that to her. "Jesus love me, this I know, for the bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong, they are weak, but He is strong." That line would kill me every time so I started telling her pick a different song!
I looked at Katelynn and realized that four months had passed since then and Katelynn was four months older now. Time didn't stop, like sometimes it feels it has. She has grown up even in just four months. I keep looking back, not wanting to forget, wanting to stay in that moment when we were a family of four. But if I am always looking back, I am missing today. I don't want to miss Katelynn's today because I won't get that back. She is changing every day and I don't want to miss it. I just don't know how to look forward and still keep Kristen with me. Kristen will forever be an infant in my mind yet Katelynn is constantly growing and changing -- which I am so thankful for because that means she's alive and healthy. I guess I'm just scared of Kristen becoming a figment of my imagination. It's not like there's lots of memories to look back on and reminisce about. When a grandparent dies, you at least have their memories to comfort you, stories to tell and traditions to continue. I don't feel like I have that of Kristen, and the memories I do have bring me to tears and remind me of that heartbreaking weekend. I have met a number of parents online who have walked this same road and many have said they got to a place where the memory of their child no longer brought tears to their eyes, but a smile to their face. I look forward to that day.