What were you doing three months ago today?

Hard to believe our answer to this question is having a baby! The day started out with joy and anticipation, not all went as hoped because by the end of the day there was fear and confusion. We did get to birth our baby (although not as planned) and welcome her into our world which our society marks as ones birthday, even if she was only here for three days. So, happy three month birthday Baby Kristen!

And thank you to my friend Cara for calling today to remember her and wish her a happy three month birthday! It was such an appreciated and joyful way for her to let us know she hasn't forgotten what we live everyday. It's nice to have someone mention Kristen's name fondly, it brings a smile to my face, which I've been told I need to do more often! I found out over Thanksgiving that people haven't wanted to mention her for fear of "offending" me/us. If they only knew how much I WISH I could talk about her, how much I long for someone to mention her name or for me not to cause an awkward silence when I do. But as I've learned from my other T18 Mommies, that's our new normal and we just learn to celebrate our own little milestones in our own little way.

For me I want to remember her birth, not her death. So I want to remind people of her birth "day" just like mommies of live babies do, but it seems awkward and it has such "bad timing". In November, it's the day before my father-in-law's birthday. In December, it will be four days after Christmas and the day before my mom's birthday. In January, it will be three days before Katelynn's 3rd birthday. There isn't a February 29th this year, so we skip that month altogether! Then March will be 6 months!!

So, what was I doing three months ago tonight? I was becoming the mommy of a beautiful little girl named Kristen whom I will always celebrate!!