Red Envelope Day

I'm not a very political person and I know there's always more than one side to every story. But when I saw this campaign (below) I knew I wanted to share and encourage others that agree that every life is important to act on their belief. It's one thing to have a bumper sticker that says what you believe, but when called to act, do you?
I remember reading before Kristen was born that in the U.S. 9 out of 10 Down's Syndrome (Trisomy 21) babies are aborted by the encouragement of genetics counselors because it will be "difficult" and there is a possibility the baby won't make it. How would I have felt if I was told "Tara, your baby MAY only live for a few hours at best (or maybe not at all after birth) and it's up to you if you want to take that option away from her because it might be a difficult situation to go through." Granted, I would never wish the loss of a baby on anyone, or even news that there's something wrong with their baby, but even though we only had a few moments with Kristen, wouldn't give them up for anything. She was my baby. She was Katelynn's sister. I couldn't imagine the thoughts that would haunt me for the rest of my life - what if she would have lived even for a moment, I wonder what she would have looked like, I wonder what it would have been like to hold her little hand, and the thoughts would go on for ever. I couldn't imagine the thoughts of the mother who's baby was healthy, yet for whatever reason, was still denied an opportunity to the gift of life.
Please know, I don't judge anyone that has made that decision due to health complications or not, it's not a decision that is ever made lightly. Yet, I have met a number of T18 moms (as well as moms of healthy babies) that have made the choice not to carry their babies to term, and they second guess themselves all the time. I can't change the past, but I hope I can help change history. If I can help just one baby get to meet her mommy even if just for a moment, help just one baby to be welcomed into this world as the precious life that he is, help one mother not live with regret or 'what if's', I will at least try. If Kristen was only given 64 precious hours, who am I to deny that of her?

Red Envelope Day www.redenvelopeproject.org
Prepare red envelopes and mail them on March 31st to the White House. You can buy them at office supply stores or at party supply stores. On the front, address it to:

President Barack Obama
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW
Washington , D.C. 20500

On the back, write the following message.

This envelope represents one child who died because of an abortion. It is empty because the little one is now unable to be a part of our world. Responsibility begins with conception. (or the message above on the Red Envelope photo)

We will all mail the envelopes March 31st, 2009. Prepare the envelope as soon as you can but mail it ON March 31.

Let every one of your friends know who you think would send an envelope too. I wish we could send 50 million red envelopes, one for every child who died [in the U.S.] before having a chance to live.

Three missing days

Kind of a weird day - it's like three days in history that have been repeated for the last 5 months simply disappeared. Today would have been Kristen's 6 month birthday - but instead it's March 1st, Kristen's 6 month birthday of being born into heaven. I had been doing really well during the first part of the month but somewhere over the last few weeks the lack of dealing with emotion (and not really being aware that was what I was doing) started to catch up with me. I have had a few friends here and there make comments that "brought me back" and reminded me I'm not alone. I wanted to share a few notes they have sent.

"something caught my heart... so I'm sorry if I say this wrong.. but I don't have 3 times more kids. You will always be the mother of 2 or more if you have more... but in my heart, your baby girl will always be a part of you. She's a piece of your daily living - you go on.. being a mom of two! And being a "Stay at home mom" is soo much harder and amazing then any other job! Be proud! You do more then you know! And I'm sure your family knows that with all the love! And anytime you want to speak about your babe in heaven... speak free with me. I have not forgotten baby Kristen."

"I just wanted to let you know I am sad there isn't a Feb 29th so Kristen can have her full 6 month birthday. But I guess it's fitting that since she isn't with us that the 29th should be missing as well."
(It makes me feel kinda bad for those born on a Leap Year, only getting to truly celebrate their birthday once every four years!)

I also had a friend tell me she still gets angry about what has happened, how unfair life can be, why it had to happen to us, and how she should be watching two little kids when she comes over to babysit, not just one.

So many different sentiments that bring comfort in so many ways.

Just kind of a weird day.

A video of our "fancy day" with Spirit 105.3

I just saw that the video that was made during our day up in Bellevue is online! Here's the link. http://www.spirit1053.com/week5.php

A beautiful gift at just the right time

My Aunt Sharon does amazing cross-stitch work. We have her work all over our house. She made us a beautiful framed wedding piece with our names and wedding date, and then made a piece for Katelynn when she was born with all her "stats" that I had framed. She had Kristen's all ready before she was born, she was just waiting for the "stats". It was divine that there was enough room for the details she ultimately included. She gave this to me at Kristen's service and I was so touched. I'd been wanting to get it framed through Creative Memories and just barely got it to them in time before they accepted their last order. (CM no longer does Custom Framing.) We're not sure where we'll display this so I wanted to display it here. You can click on it to enlarge it and see the beautiful details. The saying at the bottom I added so it would look like Katelynn's who's has a scripture at the bottom.
Thank you Aunt Sharon, it means so much to me to have such a special gift for each of my girls.

It was actually interesting to get this when I did. I've been going through a "wave" over the last week or so, which took me a bit by surprise. I had been doing so well most of the month of February and got caught off guard by a wave of grief that started over the weekend. I know they will always come and go in varying degrees, and this was just one of many more to come. There had been so much celebrating of Kristen this weekend and getting to tell her story which I enjoyed. However, all the talk of her without getting to also talk about the hard parts took its toll. I don't enjoy talking about it, but am finding I need to find ways to talk about it because grief will always find it's way out, one way or another, and I'd much rather have it be constructive. Tears are cleansing in so many ways and I had been denying them their power, thinking I was getting "better." Little did I know....have you had a good cry lately? :) Give it a try, you might be surprised how good it makes you feel!

A fun opportunity for a cute photo session!

Our MOPS group is offering "Antiquities", a fun opportunity for anyone who has kids under 16. We did this with Katelynn when she was about a year old and I was really looking forward to it this year! The photographer was amazing and really worked well with Katelynn, letting her crawl all over her as she took photos! Other moms had newborns all the way up to middle-schoolers. (You can click on the photo to be linked to their website for more details.)

Here's how it works - with a few words from their website: You purchase a photo session sitting for only $10. Your session includes a FREE 10X13 sepia-tone portrait (retail value $69.95) and Antiquities provides all the clothing and props for children up to age 16. The 10X13 sepia-tone portrait is a limited offer (one per family or household). Children will be photographed ONLY if a parent is present during the photography session. Once I've received your payment, our coordinators will call you and set up your sitting on either April 3rd or 4th (Fri/Sat) at our MOPS church in downtown Puyallup. The photos will be available before Mother's Day - I don't have the exact date.

This has been a really great fundraiser for our MOPS group in the past as we get 100% of the sitting fees and I believe a residual on any portraits purchased - however there is no obligation to buy photos - you still get your 10x13 FREE! My goal is to sell at least 15 sittings so if you're interested or know someone who might be, please pass this along! You can call or e-mail me or even contact me through the blog.
Thanks!!
Tara

The Big Day!

Today was my special day to go shopping for my grand prize from the radio contest that you all helped me win! We were picked up at 9:30 in a stretch limo and taken up to Bellevue where we were met by a photographer and Matt Case from the radio video taping us! We got to meet another winner and her husband and looked around a bit. We then were introduced to Rex, Marci's owner and he provided us with a small welcome gift: a pair of sterling silver hoop earrings in a little pouch. Matt said a quick prayer and then the caterer welcomed us to enjoy the delicacies. And they were wonderful! Cheese souffle, mini goat cheese tarts, chocolate mousse and chocolate covered strawberries, smoked salmon tarts and fruit parfaits. All accompanied by parkling apple cider!

We each got a personal assistant to help us look around and that's what we did! Rex, the owner, encouraged us to take our time looking but to consider a significant piece, versus a few lesser items. He acknowledged that most things in his store were on the more expensive side so that we should enjoy our prize and choose something that we would treasure for years to come and that would remind of us our love stories. I had thought at first to get a watch but then decided that I wanted something I wouldn't be worried to wear. I didn't think I'd be wearing a $500 watch to the park!! So I then thought of an earring/necklace set. But as I looked, nothing really struck me as "meaningful" and technically I had already been given the earrings! I had a hard time not thinking of quantity over quality, wanting to stretch my prize as best I could, not sure if I wanted to spend my whole certificate on one item. Until......

I went and looked at some of the displays in the window cases and saw the only pearl pendant they had in the whole store. I was interested in something pearl, but not a strand of pearls. It reminded me of Kristen's Christmas ornament and I knew that was it. It is a single pearl on a sterling silver base edged in diamonds. I looked at the price tag and it was 1/2 again more expense than what I had to spend, priced at $1,450. Lori (my personal assistant!) said "let me go check on something" and went to ask Rex what he thought. He came over and said "I can do this two ways, I can change your gift certificate to $1,450 or I can change the price of the necklace to $1,000. How does that sound?" As you can guess, I agreed! The more I looked at it, the more I liked it. I had thought I wanted a pearl pendant, but this one makes me think the pearl is being held, not just dangling there by itself. And if I really wanted to get into "significance", the shape holding it is a triangle, which could represent the Trinity!

As we all had our packages wrapped up we were given a gift from Spirit 105.3 of a T-shirt, a Third Day CD, the DVD "Fireproof" and our Chris Tomlin tickets. Wow! The gifts just kept coming! We all gathered outside for a few photos with our limos and then we were off once again! The three of us winners agreed we should get together before the Chris Tomlin concert which would be fun!







Needless to say it was a very fun day with lots of treats and surprises! Thank you Spirit 105.3 for the opportunity! Thank you Marci Jewelers for the experience and the wonderful gift! Thank you Salon and Spa Dolche for the fun, new hair style! And thank you everyone who voted for our story. It was an honor to honor Kristen in such a way!

Katelynn's First Dance

Katelynn's grandpa (Kevin's dad) had been waiting for years to take Katelynn to the Father Daughter Dance they have at their church each year. Katelynn was finally old enough to go this year and daddy went along. She looked so cute in her beautiful dress she got for her birthday!
It sounded like she had a great time, running around in circles, chasing the dance floor lights!

Katelynn's New Ride

Our friends Ryan and Staci gave us their daughters bike and helmet she had outgrown. Katelynn thinks she's pretty cool on it! Of course she still needs a little help from daddy. :)

My friend Shelly watched Katelynn for me last week and took these photos. Amazing! Shelly is the one who did our family photo for our profile and also helped take photos of Kristen. She does an amazing job! If you want her info, let me know!

Playing Catch Up (again!)

So many things to post, so little time!
Between computers crashing, birthday parties and radio contests, there’s so many things to post and very little time to keep up! I’ll do my best to catch up and post them in the order they all happened.