Baby Ashley's Registry (per request!)

I've gotten a few e-mails/questions about this recently and so I figured I'd go ahead and post it.

If you had asked me 8 or even 5 months ago if we were going to have a shower for Ashely the answer was no. I was okay with the idea of having an open house type "shower" after she was born, but there was still fear lurking in the shadows of the "what if's" and I wasn't ready to face it. I had a friend that kept offering to host one, and was really excited to, but also understood that I may not be up for it. In the post I wrote about "Rubble" (part 1 and part 2) I explained why I was hesitant and what God did (and is still doing) in my heart and why I was going to move forward anyway.

It still took me almost a month or two to accept my friend's offer to throw us a shower. She was thrilled that I finally accepted because she had been praying that I would, but didn't want to bug me about it too much! She and her daughter have been working on it and it's been such a blessing to me to know they're so excited to do this for us. It would have been easy to be held back with fear but not them and they're bringing me with them!! God bless them! It's going to be with a small group of ladies that have been walking with me through this crazy journey and of course Big Sister Katelynn will be there. Which it ultimately came down to allowing her to be part of the celebration and preparation for this new family member and not trying to shield her from the "what if's". (mentioned in the blogs) But with a shower comes requests for a registry....

So to answer the questions, yes, we are "registered" for Baby Ashely, but not in your typical fashion. We found a site that offers an Alternative Gift Registry. We were able to create our own list of likes and desires aside from the typical stuff you'd find in a store. Things like meals, babysitting, house cleaning, among a few other things. So for all those that were/are curious, there you go!! :)

Taken from the registry:

Considering this is our third baby, we aren't in need of all those fun "first-time parents gotta have it" kinds of things.:) Although we know many of you want to still celebrate and shower Baby Ashley. (Thank you!)

We found this site as a way to mention some of the things we'd like that aren't available at your typical store. The items listed are just ideas. We know you all love our family and you are all so wonderful for showing us in your own ways! Thank you!

The Baby Door

I was sharing with our doula about Katelynn's various questions regarding pregnancy, labor and delivery. We've shown her a few YouTube videos (tasteful and educational ones, don't worry!) so she's aware that Ashley won't be coming out of the same place that Kristen did. She thought it was pretty crazy that the babies came out of the mommy's bottoms and that there was blood. It didn't bother her, it was more of an interesting fact to her!

Then our doula shared with us how she shared with her 2 kids when she was pregnant with her 3rd. The youngest, her daughter, was the same age Katelynn is now and she explained to them that God gave everyone potty doors in their bottoms but that He gives mommies special baby doors that the baby comes out of. I LOVED THIS IDEA! So I shared it with Katelynn and she totally caught on. For each thing I'd explain she'd look right at daddy and tell him the exact same thing. I wanted to have an explanation that was accurate but appropriate for her age. Found it! :)

Then she asked about that morning's midwife appointment and why the "doctor" was looking at my bottom and out of no where came this answer "She was checking to see if the door was unlocked." Which, as hilarious as it sounds, it's kinda true! I was 1cm, 70-80% effaced and the baby was at -1 station. The door was technically unlocked and she could come any time!! :)  Roll out the welcome mat!

Week 38 - We Got the Green Light!

Here's the update I get each week with my comments below:

Your baby has really plumped up. She weighs about 6.8 pounds and she's over 19 1/2 inches long (like a leek). She has a firm grasp, which you'll soon be able to test when you hold her hand for the first time! Her organs have matured and are ready for life outside the womb.

Wondering what color your baby's eyes will be? You may not be able to tell right away. If she's born with brown eyes, they'll likely stay brown. If she's born with steel gray or dark blue eyes, they may stay gray or blue or turn green, hazel, or brown by the time she's 9 months old. That's because a child's irises (the colored part of the eye) may gain more pigment in the months after she's born, but they usually won't get "lighter" or more blue. (Green, hazel, and brown eyes have more pigment than gray or blue eyes.)

At my midwife appointment yesterday she gave us the green light for Ashley's arrival. She's at a healthy enough place right now considered full-term, that she's free to come any time between now and 41 weeks. After 41 weeks we'll start looking at our options for as natural as an induction as could be possible before we talk about a scheduled cesarean. Because I'm attempting a VBAC they won't induce, so it's pretty much up to Ashley! (and God, of course!)  I did learn from Katelynn that an induced labor is not ideal - babies will come when they're ready and labor will progress (usually) more smoothly when the baby initiates it. Did you know that it's not a woman's body that starts labor, it's the baby!? Granted they have to work in tandem, but the baby will start to give off certain hormones to let the mom's body know it's ready and then they both start doing their individual jobs. Which I think is why Katelynn's labor/delivery went how it did. It was rushed (induced) and my body didn't have time to do what it needed to do. The midwife said I'm physically all set for labor to begin now, we're just waiting on Ashley! After learning my lesson with Katelynn, I'm fine waiting a few days/weeks. In the big picture, it's so worth it!

The devil's in the details

Who would have thought simply cutting a tag off a piece of baby clothing or opening up a bag of diapers would be such a hard thing to do!? (Almost as hard as finally deciding to have a baby shower!) I highly doubt (and hope!) any first-time mom has ever had to experience this. Oh, the bliss of ignorance. And I mean that in a good way!

While Kevin worked on the patio cover today I worked on the baby center. I'd say the baby's room, but it's kind of a multi-purpose room really. It will have a twin bed, some of Katelynn's larger toys, some of our things simply for storage, and the changing table with all her immediate needs, but she'll be sleeping in either our room or Katelynn's. (I think I posted before about Katelynn not liking the idea of Ashley not sleeping in her room with her, so that helped us decide if they'd have separate rooms or not!) So the "spare room" has turned into the baby/guest/toy room. :)

We've turned an old desk that I refinished in college into a changing table and placed it in the closet - a perfect fit! (there's no doors) Then last night Kevin installed a shelving system to create the perfect baby center. So today, it was up to me to "get it ready", stocking it with diapers/wipes (which I've been stockpiling with all my crazy coupon sales!), burp rags, clothes, blankets, etc, etc.

As I "nested", I found myself faced with the decision similar to when I had to decline or accept my friend's offer to give Ashley a baby shower. You see, there are a number of things that I didn't end up doing before Kristen was born, that are normally "before baby comes home" kind of things, that I think God spared me from doing, because of what it would have meant to come home to. I didn't pre-wash all her clothes. I didn't open up all her diapers and get them all lined up on her changing table. I didn't even go out and buy nursing bras! Yes, we did set up the crib and get a few things ready, but for some reason, maybe 'cuz she was our 2nd, I didn't get all wrapped up in preparing for her homecoming. Maybe I sensed something, I'll never know, but I'll count it as a blessing.  A blessing in that circumstance, but a new dilemma in this one.

So as I unpacked the "baby boxes" I came across a number of things that we kept from Kristen but that didn't necessarily have major Kristen memories attached to them. There are a few items that will forever be Kristen's and those are packed away or set aside. But there were a number of really cute outfits from her baby shower and bags of diapers that we hadn't given away because we knew we'd be able to use them in the future. So as I unpacked things, I had to decide if I was going to take the tags off of things and pre-wash them; was I going to open up the packages of diapers and get them ready for Ashley's big homecoming? Then all the "what-if's" started. What if she doesn't come home? I didn't get this prepared for Kristen and it was horrible coming home to the few things I did get ready. I can always pre-wash things when she comes home I thought....with the when quickly turning to an IF.....

That's when I'd had enough and I ripped open the bag of diapers and snipped the tags!!  I'm going to go out and get her her own hamper, I'm going to unpack all the clothes and hang them up, I'm going to enjoy celebrating her at her baby shower. I won't let the devil steal my joy by hiding in the details. And I won't let my lack of ignorance rob me of my bliss!!  I have a number of people in my life that you can tell don't want to get too excited about a new baby. They have reservations when they ask how my appointments are going, have I had any new tests, is everything okay with the baby, etc. Even though I have explained that this pregnancy is just as normal as Katelynn's you can tell they don't want to (or maybe just won't) believe it until they meet Ashley. Makes me wonder sometimes if I'll have to prove that I'm capable of "producing a healthy baby" before the fears can be subsided. Sure I have fears too, but Ashley shouldn't be shadowed by them!

Which is why I love meeting people that have no idea about Kristen! I used to wish more people knew about her, but now I love talking to those that don't because of the excitement people tend to have around a pregnant woman. The look of joyful anticipation is refreshing. They want to know if it's my first, if its a boy or a girl, not if it's healthy, as if there'd be any reason to think otherwise. They want to know when the due date is and how I've been feeling, not when the next test is going to be and what the doctors are saying.

So I guess until I have a screaming little newborn in my arms, I'll keep looking forward and know that my hope comes not from my "positive thinking" which will always fail me, but from a God that will not disappoint. My hope has been deferred and I can't wait until it is redeemed!!

Now off to pre-wash some baby clothes! :)

"Full-Term" 37 Week Update

Your baby is now considered "full term," even though your due date is three weeks away. If you go into labor now, her lungs will likely be mature enough to fully adjust to life outside the womb.

Your baby weighs 6 1/3 pounds and measures a bit over 19 inches, head to heel (like a stalk of Swiss chard). Many babies have a full head of hair at birth, with locks from 1/2 inch to 1 1/2 inches long. But don't be surprised if your baby's hair isn't the same color as yours. Dark-haired couples are sometimes thrown for a loop when their children come out as blonds or redheads, and fair-haired couples have been surprised by Elvis look-alikes. And then, of course, some babies sport only peach fuzz.

Last week's little "false alarm" was a good motivator to get things more prepared, but it also sped up the anticipation! However, after our birth workshop over the weekend, I feel a little less hurried for her to come, knowing that she'll get here when she's ready and ultimately my body needs the time to prepare. I haven't had any good contraction episodes since last week which is okay with me. I'd rather know it's the "real deal"  than always guessing. I was introduced to Red Raspberry Leaf Tea last week and have been pretty surprised at the results. It may just be a placebo affect, but it's a medicinal tea used for pretty much anything related to the female reproductive system and used regularly in pregnancy. I've only read amazing things about it and how it aids in labor so it's a new staple to my diet!  I'm not much of a tea drinker but it if means a smoother, more manageable labor then I'll buy it in bulk! :)

False Start. First Down.

Just 'cuz I love to write and what great storytelling material I have! Most people won't care about these kinds of stories, but I know I'll want them later on!

I'm no stranger to braxton hicks contractions. They're the "warm up" contractions that supposedly don't mean anything and we're told to ignore them. So I do. I typically have them for the last 2 months of my pregnancies, so by now I'm REALLY good at ignoring them! But last night Katelynn had a bad dream or something and started crying. I jumped out of bed and went to check on her and she was still asleep, but crying. As I stood by her bed my tummy got really tight and Ashley got active. I didn't think much of it since that tends to happen when I stand up regardless! So I went back to bed.

Within a few minutes my tummy does the same thing, but I'm lying down. Hmmm. It goes away and I think "okay, just go to sleep." It happens again. And again. And again. They say to change positions to see if you can get your belly to react differently. If they're "real" contractions, they'll keep going, if they're just warm-ups, they'll usually subside. Part of me just wanted to hang out in that position for a while, telling myself, "okay, if the next one is a "good one" I'll turn over" or after a strong one, "if they stay that strong I'll go take a shower and see if that helps". I finally turn over, drink some water (another thing that helps) and they space out, but are still there. I get really excited but also remember that we REALLY want to take our birth class this weekend, go on our "last holiday date" with our friends on Friday night, etc, etc. Half of me starts going through the list of when do I wake up Kevin, who do we call to come take care of Katelynn, when do we call the doula, how long do we hang out here? Apparently my mom had really fast labors (early in fact!) and after Monday's appointment, Ashley's not "hiding" up there, she's low and ready to go! So with a drive to Seattle ahead of us we're having to weigh our timing a little more than normal. :)

I begin thinking of what we'd need to get ready if this really was "it". That's when I realized the video camera battery died last night while we were skyping with Katie and I forgot to charge it! The same thing happened when Kristen was born. I think we got maybe 2-5 minutes of anything and it died. And I also realized the memory cards in both cameras hadn't been emptied and I didn't have a new tape for the video camera...and the list started forming! So I waited out one or two more contractions and got up and saw the clock, it had been at least an hour and a half of pretty consistent contractions - woo-hoo! I realized I was hungry too, so I made some PB toast, got some water, found all the cameras and batteries, and of course got on the computer!

After about an hour of being up and around I noticed the little bit I was feeling wasn't as regular as before and I really should get some sleep if we're anywhere near being close to having a baby!!  Thankfully I was able to get back to bed comfortably and get to sleep. The contractions didn't come back and I got some sleep.

So today, Katelynn and I are laying low and daddy's on-call :). We've been going non-stop all week (including last weekend!) and we both need a break. She's got a cold/cough and I'm getting a sore throat. Not to mention I have a bag to get packed!!!  I actually had a dream that we forgot to take clothes for Ashley to the hospital and we had to borrow some doll clothes from a nearby church nursery....ha ha!!

So all morning I've been hearing the booming voice of the Super Bowl referee clicking on his microphone and doing his hand gestures to indicate a "false start" as the crowd goes wild - some with agreement and relief, thankful for one more down to "make some progress", and others with not so thrilled reactions. :)  Since I don't have control over what happens - only how I respond to it, I'll take the first down!

Week 36 - Welcome to Month #9!!!

Well, we've made it to 9 months. I remember with my 1st pregnancy I was a little bugged when I found out that pregnancy is really counted as 40 weeks which can be loosely translated to10 months, NOT 9 months. I've since gotten over that since my babies don't know any different, they'll just come when they're ready! And as of my appointment yesterday the midwife did say all my "signs" are looking good and progressing quite nicely, so we may not have to wait until May 18th to meet Miss Ashely Megan!

Here's the baby update I got for this week:

Your baby is still packing on the pounds — at the rate of about an ounce a day. She now weighs almost 6 pounds (like a crenshaw melon) and is more than 18 1/2 inches long. She's shedding most of the downy covering of hair that covered her body as well as the vernix caseosa, the waxy substance that covered and protected her skin during her nine-month amniotic bath. Your baby swallows both of these substances, along with other secretions, resulting in a blackish mixture, called meconium, will form the contents of her first bowel movement.

At the end of this week, your baby will be considered full-term. (Full-term is 37 to 42 weeks; babies born before 37 weeks are pre-term and those born after 42 are post-term.) Most likely she's in a head-down position. But if she isn't, your practitioner may suggest manipulating her from the outside of your belly.

Thankfully Ashley is head-down and very low, which is a really good thing! Although it makes my daily life a little difficult at the moment, I'd MUCH rather have her low now than have to convince her to "drop" while in labor! We attended a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) class with our doula today up in Seattle where we're planning on delivering and that went really well. We were able to take another look around the birthing unit and our doula got more familiar with the location herself. The anticipation is building everyday!!

Although it would be fun to have Ashley join us any day, our birthing class is this weekend and Kevin and I REALLY want to be able to take the class before she comes. It's not your typical birth prep class, it's more of a mini-marriage retreat with the baby being the focus. We took the same class before Kristen and were amazed at what we took away from it. I was able to process a bunch of "stuff" from Katelynn's birth experience and go into Kristen's with a whole new perspective on what WE, as a team, were doing and what we were capable of. I also gained a new understanding and appreciation for what God has made my body to do and felt truly empowered to take on birth for all it could be, something I didn't do with Katelynn. We left that class almost 2 years ago feeling we could take on the world! Little did we know we'd be asked to go through what we did, but we both agree that we were able to get through many parts of that experience because of what we learned and practiced in Patti's Class. So when it came around to "Round 3" there was no doubt that we'd be taking the class again.

So until my week 37 update....stay tuned!! :)

The right tools make all the difference!

When all else fails, get power tools!
After hitting his knee with his mallet at full-strength (you can still see the spike stuck in the ground from when it happened!) it was time to go get a jack-hammer!








He was done clearing the 7 remaining holes in less time than it took to go get & return the tool! A dollar-a-minute made it worth it's weight in gold!!


Here's a look at the holes all done. We put flower pots in them to hopefully prevent anyone (human or pet) from falling in! It's coming together!!!

Katelynn's new-found skill

Here's Katelynn's new found skill she perfected this last weekend. Yesterday she was on the swing after school for over an hour straight - with the exception of about 30 seconds when she got down to look at an ant and then went back to swinging!!

Thirty-Five

Thirty-five weeks of pregnancy completed.
Thirty-five days until the due date.
Thirty-five days of anticipation.
Thirty-five sleepless nights.
Thirty-five things (and counting) on the to-do list (most of which I physically cannot do myself)
Thirty-five years it seems until she's here.
Thirty-five times an hour I'm reminded to have patience.
Thirty-five.