I recently read something that I feel is important for anyone who will be experiencing a birth at any point in their lives – in any way. Whether as a participant, an observer, a family member or friend, or in any other capacity, this is for you!
Having gone through two VERY different birth experiences already (and having heard and read countless of others’ birth stories), I feel I can look back with pretty clear hindsight and see the truth and validity in the following statements by Dr. Buckley. She does mention the intervention of obstetricians, which for those who know our story know if it hadn’t been for medical intervention, we probably wouldn’t have had ANY time with Kristen while she was still alive. I know many babies that are here today only because there was medical help available. I am all for medical intervention when it’s needed. However I feel it's offered or imposed far more than it should be….I once heard a saying about birth: a midwife sees birth as a miracle and will only intervene when necessary. An OB sees birth as a miracle if she/he didn’t have to intervene. There is a time and a place for medical intervention when birth is concerned, but our culture has turned child birth, a 100% natural event, into a “medical procedure” robbing from it many of the hidden gifts I think God intended in the natural process.
Quite often anything that strays from our “cultural norm” is looked on as an extreme point of view or a radical slant to “normal” because it questions something we thought we understood, or it encourages us to possibly re-think our opinions and/or our perspectives (heaven forbid we could grow from such actions!). I don’t think I’d consider myself a radical by any stretch of the imagination (unless it involves couponing! ha ha!) so I hope that this would be read as if I was sharing it, not Dr. Buckley. This isn’t some “way out there point of view”, it’s about an event in which God has allowed us humans to participate in a miracle and sadly our culture has robbed it of so much. I hope you will view birth differently after reading this and ultimately understand that it all comes down to the birthing mother’s concept and definition of “safety and privacy”, not yours. (unless you’re the one giving birth, that is!)
When I had first mentioned to our family and friends just the mere thought of doing a home birth this time around we got some pretty interesting responses. I knew most people would find lots of reasons to be hesitant, which is fine…if the decision was theirs to make. But I personally had more reasons to be reassured it was a good option than I had hesitations. I had a lot of chances to try to explain myself and why I was even considering it. Although I quickly realized my reasons meant nothing if the people I was explaining it to didn’t understand the concept(s) described below. However, through the process of trying to explain something I quickly learned would probably never be truly understood, I forged my own concepts and definitions of “safety and privacy” as is mentioned below. And it was with that new definition I found that I could in fact create my ideal birthing environment in a medical setting versus at home. I just had to find the right medical setting, which we feel we have. (Not to mention in our particular situation it’s WAY cheaper this way!!) For many women after a c-section birth the only place they feel safe is a hospital, many of them opting for a repeat c-section. But that isn't the case for all of us. And I would hope that both decisions would be respected as what is best for THAT birthing mom and HER needs.I just wish more moms were better educated about their options so they could indeed decide for themselves versus being told what they should do. But I digress..
I know that this will probably go in one eye and out the other for a lot of people, but I feel compelled to share. So here goes:
Sarah J. Buckley, MD wrote a book called Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering. This is just an excerpt from that which I borrowed from a blog by Patti Ramos, birth educator extraordinaire (in my humble opinion!) and birth doula.
"Undisturbed Birth is exceedingly rare in our culture, which reflects our ignorance of its importance. Two factors that disturb birth in all mammals are firstly being in an unfamiliar place and secondly the presence of an observer. Feelings of safety and privacy thus seem to be fundamental. ...Yet the entire system of Western obstetrics is devoted to observing pregnant and birthing women (tara’s note: observing them in unfamiliar settings, mind you!), by both people and machines, and when birth isn’t going smoothly, obstetricians respond with yet more intense observation. It is indeed amazing that any woman can give birth under such conditions. Some writers have observed that, for a laboring woman, having a baby has a lot of parallels with making a baby: the same hormones, the same parts of the body, the same sounds, and the same needs for feelings of safety and privacy. How would it be to attempt to make love in the conditions under which we expect women to give birth? Undisturbed birth is possible in a variety of settings, but must always involve a feeling of emotional security for the birthing woman. A familiar and supportive companion, such as a midwife or doula, can play an important role in creating and protecting a private space for the laboring woman, especially in a hospital setting."
A second comment from Dr. Buckley I wanted to add simply for my own validation. :)
I was never able to articulate why I didn’t want hoards of people at the hospital when our babies were born waiting for their first glimpses of a newborn just minutes old. Maybe I was articulating it, but I never felt I did in a way that validated my need for time with my newborn while at the same time inviting family and friends to come enjoy a few-hours-old baby if not a day-old baby. I want(ed) them to feel welcome and enjoy such an incredible time, celebrating this new miracle of life with us. HOWEVER, it wasn’t until I read this that made me realize that my “personal preference” may actually be a God-given instinct to allow me uninterrupted, private time with my baby, which in turn would allow my body to do what it needs to do to heal, and my baby and I to bond in the first ever-so precious minutes and hours after birth which is a time that can never be replaced or replicated. So I guess if personal preference wasn’t enough, here’s some scientific data to back it up!
"For the new mother, the third stage (immediately following the baby's birth) is a time of reaping the rewards of her labor. Mother Nature (a.k.a. God, tara’s note!) provides peak levels of oxytocin, the hormone of love, and endorphins, hormones of pleasure for both mother and baby. Skin-to-skin contact and the baby's first attempts to breastfeed further augment maternal oxytocin levels, strengthening the uterine contractions that will help the placenta to separate, and the uterus to contract down. In this way, oxytocin acts to prevent hemorrhage, as well as to establish, in concert with the other hormones, the close bond that will ensure a mother's care and protection, and thus her baby's survival." ~ Sarah J. Buckley, MD
I guess all in all, I would sum up this crazy long post by saying as a soon-to-be birthing mom, thank you for your opinions, your concerns and perspectives. It's nice to know that people care about us moms. But ultimately it really comes down to the who/what/where/how's that make US feel safe, comfortable, and uninhibited to allow God's amazing gift of nature take place through us. I would hope that every birthing mom would have people in her life that would push her towards that kind of environment, even if it is different than what they would chose for themselves. That, friends, is showing the ultimate love for the mother. Allowing her to have HER experience be what SHE needs it to be. Our pastor will jokingly say 'Well, when you're God you can change the rules, but until then, this is how we play.' So, when you're the birthing mom you can call the shots, but until then....momma makes the rules. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment