Kind of a weird day - it's like three days in history that have been repeated for the last 5 months simply disappeared. Today would have been Kristen's 6 month birthday - but instead it's March 1st, Kristen's 6 month birthday of being born into heaven. I had been doing really well during the first part of the month but somewhere over the last few weeks the lack of dealing with emotion (and not really being aware that was what I was doing) started to catch up with me. I have had a few friends here and there make comments that "brought me back" and reminded me I'm not alone. I wanted to share a few notes they have sent.
"something caught my heart... so I'm sorry if I say this wrong.. but I don't have 3 times more kids. You will always be the mother of 2 or more if you have more... but in my heart, your baby girl will always be a part of you. She's a piece of your daily living - you go on.. being a mom of two! And being a "Stay at home mom" is soo much harder and amazing then any other job! Be proud! You do more then you know! And I'm sure your family knows that with all the love! And anytime you want to speak about your babe in heaven... speak free with me. I have not forgotten baby Kristen."
"I just wanted to let you know I am sad there isn't a Feb 29th so Kristen can have her full 6 month birthday. But I guess it's fitting that since she isn't with us that the 29th should be missing as well."
(It makes me feel kinda bad for those born on a Leap Year, only getting to truly celebrate their birthday once every four years!)
I also had a friend tell me she still gets angry about what has happened, how unfair life can be, why it had to happen to us, and how she should be watching two little kids when she comes over to babysit, not just one.
So many different sentiments that bring comfort in so many ways.
Just kind of a weird day.
I'm thinking there is something so profoundly and spiritually significant here, that I have to share it.
ReplyDeleteFrom the crucifixion of Jesus to the resurrection was three days (hotly debated, but we'll call it three just for sharing). Three days from natural to supernatural for Jesus. Three days from no hope to eternal hope for humankind. Three days from pain and suffering to no pain, no tears, no fear for Kristen.
For the current time, we are spiritual beings on a natural journey - wrapped in a mortal body. We are eternal beings that will be transformed from mortal to immortal (1 Corinthians 15:53-54). We still regard our Lord Jesus as very real, very present, very influential, and very eternal. I'm thinking the same thing applies to Kristen and the impact on our life … immortal touching mortal. Our soul (mind, will, and emotions) touched by the eternal. If it were not so, then the Lord Jesus Christ would have no impact on this creation. BUT, we know this to be true and as a result, we have plan, a hope, a future in God (Jeremiah 29:11).
Praise to the One Eternal God: our Father, His Son Jesus, and the Holy Spirit!!! What an amazing plan He has for us!!
Kristen, thank you for your impact and influence on our lives … God has allowed you to change us for eternity.
Does this make sense? What are your thoughts about what I've shared?
Tara - I just got my Scene magazine and read your sweet daughter Kristen's birth announcement. On July 4, 2006, we were blessed with the birth of Clare Callaghan Gaffney, also born with Trisomy 18. She stayed with us just 72 hours, but in that short time, she touched many lives. I was so blessed that you celebrated her birth and life with your announcement. It doesn't get "easier"... but it does soften. We will always miss our darling babies, but we will see them again in Heaven. Thank you for sharing.
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